I found myself meditating on a picture John Bunyan painted in Pilgrim's progress of heaven. The thought of exchanging all our sorrow at that point for the joy He promises to give us. Isaiah 35:10 Matthew 5:4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Bunyan creates a picture here inspired by the Spirit.
I then find myself in the Psalms. As I read through many I notice 2 common themes. Often starting with either "Praise" to the Lord, or crying and mourning. I take comfort in the fact that half of these Psalms are filled with joy and praise the other half cries and sorrow, so parallel to our human emotional nature that shifts often.
God knows we are in a fallen world, that sin abounds and our human bodies at times will feel much sorrow. Yet where sorrow and sin is there is also His love and grace to be found for those that search.
I am blown away that even in this time and reading some inspired texts how small I feel in His large plan. How insignificant and feeble I am, next to Almighty God. I am humbled. I confess even my selfish thoughts to the one that carried His own death around all of His life, for me. For me. How often I fail to look at my own selfishness. Oh Lord forgive me.
My heart is tender and full of truth by the time church starts and my heart desires to worship. To sing songs that honor and adore our Lord. For it is these songs and this focus that lift my eyes to the hills, where my Lord is. Psalm 121:1
Pastor Tim stands to greet us all and encourages us that if we have a song in our heart this morning to bring it before God and see if He won't hear it?
We sing a few songs, my eyes closed the entire time not wanting to be distracted. Then a song I haven't sung since childhood days around the Lord's table, "Hallelujah What a Saviour" plays and I can sing every word from heart having sang it so much as a child. The song was so boring to me before, and yet now it has new heartfelt appreciation. As the song ends I feel my heart longing to sing a song called, "Faithful One, so unchanging. Ageless one, you're my Rock of Hope....." For some reason my heart just LONGS to sing it. We then sit down and take the offering and THEN...out of nowhere they start to play THAT SONG.... I instantly turn to Roger, as if the breath that been knocked from me and he can tell something serious has just happened. And with a look in his eyes, I stammer to tell what just happened and tears STREAM down my face in overwhelmed utterance of praise and sheer awe that fill my soul. He witnesses in this moment the deep truth in my Spirit to God, and holds my hand so lovingly.
Psalm 139:4Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
How can He do that? How does He know me so well? Psalm 139 is a beautiful Psalm that reminds me of this deep truth.
The more I walk with God daily the more I desire of Him, the more He moves me in a realm that I can hardly believe let alone understand, but my desire is for increased faith. I have simply asked Him that He fill me with the things He desires to talk with me about, that He would teach me and that I would praise Him in accordance with what pleases Him.
It's as if Roger said to me, "Babe you did a great vacuuming today." or "Your heart is so beautiful, so tender and sensitive. I am blessed and thankful to call you my wife." Which shall I prefer???
Is it any different with God? I desire deeper intimacy with God, even today. I'm will not look to the left or to the right, but keeping my eyes on my Lord, who fills my heart
Ephesians 5:19 Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord.
I was already singing "Faithful One: in my heart, before the congregation joined in. My mouth simply spilled out what was in my heart. I wonder if you pressed the mute button on your heart what would be heard?
From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaketh. Matthew 12:34
My heart, O Lord, is for you.
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