Tax Me Thankful

In my quiet ponderance today, my heart is riveted with what does my thankfulness look like? Does my heart overflow it?
I am convicted as I read Colossians 2:7, "overflow with thankfulness."


"Thankful", not only by words, but by my actions...


For when I step out of our society and still my heart in conversation with God, I feel as if I've stepped out of "a society that is hard wired with 'entitlement' as one of our dominant genes". I am so completely humbled in this conversation and so deeply convicted that I feel the desire to share it openly.


God teaches my heart once again.


"Carrie, TRUE humility before me, overflows with thankfulness from the heart. For with this humility one realizes that really they have nothing before me and therefore the by product is 'thankfulness'."



I am taken back somewhat and yet the question arises, "What do you deserve Carrie?"

"... Oh boy..." (deep sigh).



"Lord I DESERVE death." (I instantly am reminded of "For the wages of sin is death". Romans 6:23)



So if death is all I deserve everything else is an absolute gift. Then I think of how John the Baptist, truly got this. Not only did he live such a humble, but bold life, he didn't let things of this world hold him back but rather professed that "one can receive only what is given him from above." (John 3:27) He got it. He held everything loosely focusing on a kingdom that will last forever and as a result God used Him to build it forcefully. (Matt 11:12)



Oh Lord, what am I holding too tightly? For when I don't hold it tightly, I don't yell like a selfish child, "Mine!" Rather, I become thankful knowing it was a gift first given to me from above.



Are we thankful for our cars, or do we complain that it's old? Are we thankful for the choice of clothing we have, or do we complain that we don't have anything to wear!? Are we thankful that we have employment whether it's a dream job or not, especially in hard economic times? Are we thankful for our free education, or that the sun exists every day faithfully whether we see it behind clouds or not? Are we thankful for the mecca of food stores, and countless selections around us, or are we frustrated that the lettuce look a little wilted or a package damaged? Are we thankful for hands that can type, and a cell phone that rings, a taste bud that savours, a voice that communicates freely, a pillow to lay our head on... are we thankful? If so ... WHO are we thankful to??? Shall we not turn our heads upwards? Shall we not thank Him now.. and readily.. not once a day... but whenever we're thankful!? Do you think God would ever tire of our sincere thankfulness? I know when our children or my husband is genuinely thankful I want to so continue to bless them. Why would it be any different to God? Now I'm reminded to even thank Him for this loving family God has given me.


We live like Kings and Queens in Canada. Really. If we turn our gaze out and up we will begin to quit focusing so selfishly on ourselves and learn to give more freely realizing all we have is "on loan."

I am amazed that even when Jesus broke bread and fed the 5000 people, or when He intimately broke it at the Last Supper it is recorded that He "Gave Thanks" as He did it. Wow...


God in human form, realizing the incomparable worth of the gift God would give us in His death that would ultimately give us Life. It's ours, freely. One day we shall all know the truth to the PRICE tag associated with this gift... then our reaction will be bended knees and open confession of such.


"Today, I chose my Lord, to thank you for everything you've given me, but most blessed is the presence of your Son in my heart. For my soul longeth for that greatest treasure found only in you. When my moral flesh becomes immoral I can just imagine how I will dance, sing, laugh and love as I never have. Help me to express this now. That I would make you smile over and over, knowing no one gets me quite excited as you do!! BIG BIG :)


NO one shall take your glory! This I declare. You are God and God alone. But I know... you said it already! I'm just repeating you!!! ;)



Isaiah 42:8 "I am the Lord; that is my name I will not give my glory to another or praise to idols."

To Him be all glory, honor, praise, power, and especially our thanks, both NOW and forevermore.

A humbled but thankful work in progress,

C

Beautiful Babe

I ran into one of my lovely young ladies in the washroom at church on Sunday. She's been a little quieter than usual the past few weeks and so I felt compelled by the Spirit to write her an email as to how she was really doing. She openly confessed her struggle with the lies of the enemy, common to EVERY young girl, that she needs to look a certain way in order to be "beautiful" according to the world's standards. I'm not even sure if the enemy can stop at Size 0 or if he'd rather move to the minus sizes in due time... ugghhhhhh.... it frustrates and angers me; the poisonous lies he is feeding our young women, especially in this area!

Nonetheless I hold her lovingly in my arms and she seems to melt. So beautiful that she would let her guard down so readily and let me immerse her with an embrace of the Father's love. She is so precious and so beautiful... yet the lies of the enemy rob her of this knowledge. As tears stroll down her face I find my own heart so forlorn to want to instantly remove it for her, but I can't. I can merely encourage her in how to fight, and to stand on the truth. But at this moment the Father was simply telling me to just hold her and love her.

That afternoon just being quiet with the Lord pondering the many great things God is doing in our young people, and also carrying the burden of the ones that are struggling. Presenting these in prayer to the Lord and then as I'm thinking of this precious one, I hear this new song playing in the background. I replay it and listen to the words closely... I fight back the tears as I know it is a song for her from our Father.

So for you my precious one, this is for you. Just close your eyes and listen... and when it finishes I am reminded of a verse He gave me that has so helped me through my struggle of knowing how much He loves me. It's Isaiah 43:4. Look it up, underline it and fight the lie. For to know HIS love for you and the worth of your beautiful spirit ( 1Peter 3;3,4 ) is truly what counts for eternity.

How I long to be so beautiful in my Spirit for my Lord. To me that is beauty.



I love you dear one. This is for you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C2o0jHNRuU And even now I listen to it and now the tears run down my face. For every word captures my prayer. How deep is His love for you.

You are beautiful.
xo

Beyond Binding Books

My husband is great at strategically overseeing things and proactively offering help to potential problems that he may see arising. A recent one he’s noticed is that my bible that is well used dating to my teenage years, is about to lose its spine. He’s been asking me for over 6 months if he could take it in to get it rebound for me as a gift… but I’ve resisted just not wanting to be without it even for a day. I know it sounds ridiculous or perhaps, “the right” thing to say, but truth is I have not been without it for a single day for the past 10 years. It is often just a reach away. Even in my car, planes, hotel rooms, foreign countries, etc..etc. My husband and daughter can testify to this. Nonetheless, just recently I had a dream that pages started to come out of the binding and I awoke saddened but knew it was a warning to get it done.

My husband with a joyful patience, took me to the Book Binder Friday. A pleasant lady inspected my bible and instantly saw the value I had with it even before I asked if she could do same day service? She laughed. My husband even offered to pay more… (what a sweetie he is). Creatively, she worked something out for me.

What I found interesting was I could tell she didn’t value the bible the same, she didn’t understand its “ridiculous” worth? But her comment as we left impacted me profoundly. For though she didn’t know our God as her Lord and Savior, there was no denying that out of all the books she’s rebound, the way people cherished the transition of their bibles to her promised care, left her with a conviction whether she wanted it or not, that, “perhaps there was something of greater worth in those pages?”

I am often left in awe how God simply reaches to so many, even those that are far away from Him in ways that you and I have no idea.

Not just that, but how it would be a fraction of the price to simply go and buy another bible, yet so many would pay triple to simply have it rebound. Is there any other book that demands such time, attention, care, devotion and legacy?

Even this morning as I study His word, Peter captures it so beautifully in saying “God has given us EVERYTHING WE NEED for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him.” (2 Peter 1:3) The best way to have knowledge of God is to study His words, that give account of His life and ways, but also help us to understand the way He speaks and who He is. It’s a magnifying glass into a realm that is divine and beyond understanding. He doesn’t even stop there but says in the next verse, “He has given us his VERY GREAT and PRECIOUS promises, so that through them we may participate in the divine nature and ESCAPE the corruption of the world caused by evil desires.” (2 Peter 1:4)

Behold HIS VERY PROMISES which are not just good but VERY GOOD AND PRECIOUS!!!! Hold Him to His promises.. He loves that!! He is faithful. We just don’t have a clue what half of His promises are!!! For if we did we wouldn’t walk around wallowing that’s for sure.

It’s not His promises alone, but also the escape mechanism He offers so freely to us. I have found this and love it… for when I am deep in scripture even just meditating on a verse and need to go to something else, even just a meeting, everything seems a bit more dim… mundane sometimes. There’s times when I’m listening to scripture in my car and have a deep thought arrive at Walmart and as I turn the car off I don’t even want to go into the store. I feel for a moment I have escaped the busyness and distracted society. Strange.. but true.

I’m starting to understand more and more the power of His words in my life and it does something to me. It intoxicates my soul with a heavenly honey that keeps me wanting more. In one verse there are simply so many layers that there is no other hand written work that can do such marvelous things.

I want to immerse His word into my heart that I would utter worthy things all my life. Things that make people say, “She sounds just like her Dad.’ You got it… my Heavenly Dad.

What a compliment. Oh to be His glory, to represent Him in any way possible. That others may know of His goodness. Yes, even the local bookbinder.

A Motivated Mother

What a privilege it has been for me to bring the gospel to such godly women in Halifax. From age 16 to 70ish... in the beautiful Tim Horton's camp in Tatamagouche, you all remind me so much of the Bereans in Acts 17. How they eagerly receive the message and study the scriptures daily. What you have there is precious. As I stand amidst such a vast array of women from several generations I marvel at the unity you possess. It is God given. Protect it, cherish it.

As God lays on my heart to go deeper with you teaching on Romans 6-8 paralleling Galations 5, I remain refreshed even now of how strong your faith is becoming! How you long for the deeper things of God, the "steak dinner" rather than the baby's milk. (Hebrews 5)

Your humility, your desire for His word, your listening ears and now your persevering obedience will not return void. Already the emails that have transpired as you fight the good fight trusting Him and resisting the enemy, have encouraged my heart!

What fueled me all the more, was one of my dearest brothers in the Spirit, who writes me deep things that God speaks to Him that we would compare the Spirit aligned in us, wrote to me right when I was on the plane leaving Halifax to go to Florida to speak. He spoke of how we need to understand more of Romans 6-8 and how it's a hard teaching but so powerful! How it blessed me to know that was the very passage God had me share with you ladies.

It is moments like these that refresh me from heaven above to know I am in His will. The ONLY place I desire to be.

From there I spoke on a cruise and met many people from across our country that are lights in their cities; beacons of light to offset the secret war of abortion. A desirous group that longs to cleanse the pollution of innocent blood shed on our country's soil. (Number 35:33) I am richly blessed to hear from their very mouths that interestingly enough, this younger generation (high school and younger) are actually choosing life even more so than the university group when it comes to abortion minded ones they come in contact with. I am convinced that there is a remnant in this younger generation that God is reserving for Himself.

Yes they are highly uneducated in God's word (truth) and life through His Spirit, BUT they are indeed hungry to be taught the REAL truth... they do want to know the hard line between good and evil in our watered down society.

It is a ruthless grind, for sure. I look at them and feel as Jesus did, they are so harassed (Matt 9:36) From sexual abuse, lust, $$, technology, access to whatever they desire at their fingertips, distractions, lack of parental presence, an educational system that doesn't want anyone to fail, so floating I guess is accepted??? distraction, no need to save, live beyond your means, etc..etc...etc... Is that harsh? .... immerse yourself in their company for even 2 days and you will understand. It's a fight for them. But I'm not willing to point fingers, I simply want to reach my hands...

I come back to a weekend retreat in Grand Forks where I speak to leaders that are gearing up to do summer ministry and a gang 0f 20 of MY hometown leaders, drive 3 hours to be there too. What a joy they bring me as we spend deep time all weekend in the word and prayer and desiring more of Him. I come back more passionate in the Spirit despite my body being tired.

I desire His Spirit within me to have full reign over my vessel. That my flesh would be a complete slave to the Christ in me. Even as we were in Florida and my husband and I sat under an umbrella on the beach reading scripture together in our quiet time, I see so many consumed of what their bodies look like. And in that moment the Spirit reminds me that something that becomes an idol, a focus of so much time, that we become slaves to, is the very thing that when we die, literally WORMS eat it.... wow... as if that isn't a slap in the face. (John 6:63 The Spirit gives life, the flesh counts for NOTHING.") I remind myself that I shall be focused on things that last for eternity, my Spirit and my faith refined as gold, that my time here on earth by faith shall please my master, my Lord and my God to whom I gladly have become His Prisoner.

I BELONG to Him. There is no greater joy, no greater boast, nothing of greater worth, than to know and confess unashamedly I am my Lord's and He is mine.

I must go now and teach God's word to those that are hungry. This is privilege. This Mother's day I am truly blessed to be feeding my children Chateaubriand, for they have long outgrown the Spiritual milk.

Pressing on, to be a Mother called by my Lord, for more than just children of natural descent, youth for the Kingdom,

Mamma C

Our God BEYOND Wonder

I cannot even begin to contain in one email what I have witnessed of God in my travels from the Eastern Coast of Halifax to meetings with significant faith people in all cities across Canada, to the very edge of Florida and the Islands of Bahamas. I literally have been through all our North American time zones, many climates, marvelled at the tides off the coast off Halifax, the many colors of the ocean water, randomly dispersed islands called of paradise (Bahamas) to the wild and rustic surroundings of Northern Washington with its towering evergreens. Only to return to my now orchard blossoming hometown of Kelowna. I am a smitten, blessed woman to the hand of our marvelous Creator. Yet despite such wondrous natural beauty, the depth of wonder I find most intriguing is the very picture of God that is displayed in the faithful, strong, dynamic men and women of faith I have had the privilege to connect with. A great treasure for me is to sense Christ in people. When I see, sense, hear, even smell the fragrance of Him in fellow believers of all ages, I find it pure joy. It is merely my foretaste of a piece of His glory. I find my spirit soars as I speak and pour out truth to these hearts not only ready and eagerly desiring more, but FULL ON ready to unashamedly display more of His goodness!!!

As an eyewitness to what God is doing in our country I shall proclaim that there is a remnant here that has not bowed the knee to Baal, in which He is claiming for His own. It is a joy and a thrill to know that our God always chooses the under dogs, the few in numbers, the ones that "aren't" to be the ones that "are", the ordinaries to be HIS extra ordinaries. And I believe that despite so many becoming God haters, there is a remnant the fervently calls him their King.

I am smitten all the more, despite being poured out and probably having the least amount of sleep I have ever had in 2 weeks; my heart is full, my spirit alive and I fall in wonder that our God SO loves us. He tells me, "I don't NEED you Carrie, but I DESIRE you." wow.... so true.... humbling yet exhilarating the Creator has a thing for me.... wow...

As I sit on the plane marvelling at how small I am to Him, I can't help but declare some rightful statements for Him, that fuel my FIRE to serve Him with all I am.

Here's a few....

With all our technology can you show me the path of where the wind shall go or show me where the lightning will hit?
Tell me how a cloud can float such weight of heavy water?
How do birds know where to migrate every year or better yet the path to take, even without GPS or mapquest?
Who can tell me all that lies on the deepest ocean floor or how about just walk across it?
Who can find out their number of days here on earth? What if I offered you any amount $ to tell me such?
Who created the lion to retreat before nothing? How does it have such courage?
Tell me how TRUE love is formed between two people for a lifetime?
How does the mind create, maintain and hold "wisdom"?
Can you change the temperature just one degree for me today?
Can the weather channel hold a "number of clouds" count for around the world on a daily basis?
Please change the shape of Orion's belt for just one night, make it whatever design you prefer?
Tell the mother bear not to worry about her cubs. Better yet, ask her to put just one up for adoption.
Show me a horse that is naturally maneless.
Create a circus act with flying eagles that fly according to your command.

All this is captured in my heart as I mediate on Job and Proverbs. This is my God. The one I will forever worship. My God who declares all glory to Himself, and rightfully so. You are my God and I love you.

As the plane descends to land and my ears pop, I want to add one more...

Stop your ears from popping as you descend from the heavens in a plane.... hmmmm...

God I love you. Truly love and shall boast of no other as I do of you. You are truly... my AMEN.

From Sea to Sea

Well I've gone from one coast to another as I find myself now in Historic Halifax, surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean and the down to earth folks here in Eastern Canada. Interesting enough, the same privilege still exists for me, no matter where I am: spending time with God and sharing His truth to young and old, males and females. Despite the four hour difference, the same sun remains. What a reminder of how no matter where He has us put on this world, together we have one God and one LORD we worship and serve together. Can you imagine the day we all get together and party with Him? When all those who by faith have believed, unite together in one central place, on one time zone, around one Son. Can you even begin to imagine that party?! I THINK NOT... human comprehension doesn't stand a chance on that one. We can just try to dream.

It was sheer joy for me to speak to this dynamic group of faithful young people last night. The Rock church here reminds me a lot of our church in Kelowna in that it really has strong and pure roots within the city. They will soon celebrate their 40th anniversary to which the founding pastor was there until just last year, 38 years. Their youth pastor was there for well over 20 and Pastor Mike now taking over the Youth Ministry has been with the church since we was 12. The faithfulness and loyalty of all ages here, really speaks volumes to its godly heritage. I believe this honors God.

A GREAT pleasure of mine is to communicate so intimately and frequently with our Lord that when HE calls me to speak at these times, rather than pulling out a nice "speech" or a favorite one, I can simply ask for more of His heart's thoughts at this very moment that I could speak a timely and effective word that is His. This takes more time, obviously, but brings me greater joy and fullness knowing the words are fresh. Who wants to watch the 6:00pm news from 10 days ago, when you could have today's info?

What a blessing it was to my heart late that evening to sit in a restaurant in one LONG table with Pastor Mike and over 20 of his young adult leaders! I was in awe to see this strong team of leaders so devoted and knit together so well. How I'd love to bring them all down to Kelowna to have them connect with our great team of leaders!

It was interesting to just share with Mike who's 34 and me being 33, as we considered and reflected to what we've grown up with and known, and now how vastly different it is for this younger generation we're working with.

But no matter how you look at it, we were both encouraged that despite the times in which we are in, we both witness in each other and our teams, that there is indeed a ferverant remnant that is declaring boldly their faith. Sure they may be few in numbers... but whenever did Jesus have the masses as His army? In a few He accomplishes much... gotta LOVE His counter opposite ways of this world. Remember we're a by product of Jesus working with 12 Hooligans. :)

"For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

Our Family Forte

The "Family" unit is brutally being attacked, especially in North America. I don't need published stats to tell me this. I witness it first hand even with the families or "partial" families I come in contact with everyday. It's more of the norm for our children to have divorced parents/single parents or parents that don't spend a lot of time together.

The enemy has moved rather rapidly to cause havoc and severely disconnect the family unit I would say in even less than 2 generations. I see it unravelling so very fast.

Now having a new family unit, both Roger and I realize the severity of this fight to keep the unit together, especially when society and the culture around us all is so polluted to strain for the opposite.

Roger is truly a God fearing man. His love of God is his most attractive quality to me. It brings me JOY, to honor, respect and love him as a result. The love of God flows through Him and teaches Him how to love me too, and it is a beautiful reciprocal selfless love that overflows and passes through us.

I say this because it is so pivotal to the well being of our children when marriages are strong. Foundations for our children become carefree when their parents' relationships are rock solid.

For Easter our home was overflowing from the Thurs night to the Easter Monday. I mean overflowing, 24X7 with out of town guests, entire families, even dear friends, etc. Even our family members who know us and the children well, can't believe how well they have adjusted to each other and truly love and respect on another. They are shocked at how quickly this transition has happened and how rock solid it seems to be, despite the hard ages of 12, 13 and a 14 year old.

We simply know and proclaim it is God's leading and prompting that holds us together and leads us in all things to provide an environment that flourishes. It's "THE COUNSELOR" (John 16:7)

We have instituted "Family Meetings", in the evenings with dessert in which everyone talks of their personal highs and lows of the day. They so look forward to these!

Roger tries to make breakfast almost every morning and I do my best to have a sit down candle lit, homemade, dinner at least 4 or 5 nights a week. YES... I know the time allocated to such a venture is insane.... BUT we have agreed that we will not conform to the pattern of the world that declares convenience is better, and there is no time. That way leaves us isolated, cheaply nourished and disconnected.

The fellowship we have during these meals, without the TV on, but rather listening and genuinely sharing in the lives of each other to EACH of us has become priceless to each of us. We laugh and we cry, we respect and we love, we vent and we regroup...but we remain united and what a blessing this is.

On Thurs night Roger came home and this is what he walked into: Our house was beautifully manicured outside to be matched by a clean home inside. The aroma was that of a homemade roast. Daniel was on the couch reading his newly purchased book on the History of Rome. Alyssa and Brea were together working on baking Nanimo bars. All homework was done. The table was radiantly set, with candles, worship music was playing in the background softly and I was around the corner, still dressed in my business suit but folding clothes in the laundry room. Right before this we'd had some logistical hiccups with pick ups and drop offs from Dance, School, work, etc..etc... but we worked through it together to get everyone in our home together. I can hear my husband's steps quicken as he walks to find me and embraces me with all he has, mouth included, to declare in a loud voice to the whole family, "Now as if this isn't every man's dream to come home to?!?!" And he was actually the one that went through each of these observations that I hadn't even thought of, but I must say how much it blessed all of us to see the joy it brought Dad/Roger in honoring and loving the head of our home even unknowingly.

After we literally laughed for 5 minutes, hard (in the picture that we were like the Cleavers in that moment, lol!) we both later thankfully testified to how God has lead us with our family to find joy and blessing in these times. When a woman feels so loved, it truly is her joy to give and honor her husband in everything.

It reminded me of Ps 128 in which the promises to a God fearing man.
Psalm 128
1 Blessed(Happy) are all who fear the LORD, who walk in his ways.
2 You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.
3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.
4 Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD.

This Psalm has become a reality to us now. I know many of you don't see the extreme devotion Roger has to our Lord, but I testify to it. What great joy it brings my heart to lie in bed with my husband on our weekend and study scripture together, and pray together with no time frame. Our desire is to KNOW Him to grow in Him.

What honor it brings me and our Lord, when we enter a PG movie this Friday night, but when a scene with women dressed scantily in a bar, Roger's head drops to not look and Brea turns away. Then he looks to me and says, "Do you want to leave?" So here we are in the middle of the theatre and as a family, despite not getting money back, CHOSE to protect OUR pure minds and hearts and our childrens' by being filled with unnecessary images and quietly excuse ourselves. What a statement we make quietly to our own children, to the rest of the theatre and most importantly to our Lord in desiring the most fulfilled and protected marriage and family life.

It was Roger, the head of our home, that lead in this devotion to which I am smitten. :) When we honor God we honor one another, for His ways desire what is best for each other. It's the enemy that lies to us on this, but God's ways are RIGHT and JUST and desire to give us the best in all things. He has overly blessed our intimacy but it is with protective ways that we chose to guard it from the enemy.

We will continue to learn and make mistakes, but I must say HIS Spirit within us is our greatest treasure. It overflows to all areas of our lives, when we listen and obey.

I share a few of many moments, vulnerably with you in that you too would be encouraged to listen to His Spirit to rise up and out of conformity of polluted relationships to fight for what is good and right. Yes it may mean giving up some extra time and making some sacrifices but without showing that how will the other know they are valued and loved? By what you say??? Come on... actions shall always speak louder than words.

So with I'll refrain from TELLING my family "I love them" as I know they'll be checking up on my writing here... LOL!! but rather I'll SHOW them.

Together we shall stand for FAMILY.

Mother to 3, Wife to 1.
Daughter of God.

Carrie

Debt Owed = My Life

Good Friday. GOOD... I used to wonder how can we declare such a brutal death "Good"?

But now, this day has become precious to me.

Why is our human nature so forgetful? Why with time, do things seem to fade so easily in our hearts and minds? For some things, we are thankful for the fading. For others that we long to remember, we can find it frustrating how quickly it leaves us.

Our Creator sure knew we'd struggle to remember and that's why He took us one step further to proactively help us with this. He left the emblems. A sign of communion; the bread and the wine. To some it seems a rather cold traditional practise, but to me it is a simple in taking of something that through touch, taste, smell and sight I force my body to REMEMBER the death my King has undergone for me. His sacrifice for me to not only live, but enjoy being part of His Royal family.

This is the portrait I carry of my Lord. Not a picture in my wallet but rather a crimson colored taste of His precious life giving blood, poured out completely, till it no longer pumped from His heart. And a taste of a gentle, soft, pure but broken piece of torn bread that reminds me of His body brutally ripped apart from nails in all limbs, a long sharp spear plunged deep up His side, to thorns pounded into His skull all of this as hard slivered wood stung His shredded skin hanging back open and wounded from endless lashes... ahhhh...(deep sigh) how my heart even now sinks so deeply into my chest and tears sting my own eyes... (I love you my Lord..)

How can it be??? The hardest part in it all for me is that HE WAS AND IS GOD... He is the most beautiful, powerful being of all time and in an instant could've done away with us all, especially the losers that scorned Him and mocked Him....oh how they have NO idea what their eyes shall behold when we ALL ONE DAY BOW and CONFESS before our GREAT KING... "WORTHY are you!!!" But then it shall be too late. What a day that will be... Truly I can't wait. With all I am if I leave this world this afternoon, I have entered eternity and then my heart shall be completely at peace united face to face with MY one and only.

But for now I will simply declare what Paul has spoken. 2 Corinthians 4:10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.
I will chose to carry around His death. Even today... for it is GOOD. It reminds me; shocks my whole being to the motivation that do die is gain, and at all costs I shall live my life as an offering to Him. "Philippians 1:21For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

I can truly say this now that I've gotten to "KNOW" Christ. Through years of speaking with Him and listening to Him through His word, I am smitten to that loving hand that remains pierced because of love for me.

So shall I not live my life full out, with no reserve for a Kingdom that will last forever? I shall! So today I will undergo a remembrance of a "GOOD" death. Galatians 2:20I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

I give to the one who has given me all things. Be glorified in my little life Lord, for you are WORTHY beyond my comprehension. This I believe. May my life be my testimony to this confession.

Indebted, joyfully

C

More Than Meets the Eye

As I sit and watch a bunch of young people preform a musical I see more than just a performance. I see those that are confident in who they are. Who have a confidence that allows them to not be bothered by those causing havoc around them, even on the stage. Those that despite being young men and somewhat of a childish song, still participate while others "check out" too cool for school. I see young women who's shoulders sag, with no eye contact but a downward head and soft, scared voices, dressed in darker colors hidden with some dark makeup. I see guys and girls that are completely comfortable with themselves so much that despite the fact the guys and girls are crammed together and touching each other makes no difference. But those that are whisked away in the attention of the other sex, completely distracted as they flirt with one another.

It's amazing as I sit in the audience and imagine all these people and where they will be in 10 years. Some doctors, lawyers, politicians, athletes, teachers, musicians, etc... some drop outs, and outcasts from our judgemental society. The behaviour, mannerisms and mindsets are already being founded in each of these young lives.

I see some almost falling asleep and I instantly think of the home life behind each of them. Do they sit around a table for dinner and have parents that care sincerely about their days? Do they care enough to send them to bed at a decent hour or just to their room where they can text till 2am in the morning?

As a fellow parent, we must step outside of our convenient society to reinforce in our youth, social, behavioural patterns that build in confidence, control and a relational attitude that will promote great communication. I don't believe our technological society is working together with us on that. BUT WE make the choice.

Our X box recently stopped working. It was a very sad moment for our 3 children, and yet we haven't bothered fixing it, knowing we could.... interesting enough, more books, talking, relationship building activities have taken place in the interim. :)

"Train up a child in the way they shall go and when they are old they will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 This can be good or bad. But let's not make light of this principle. The Creator has given us His wisdom here.

On another note, as I walk down from the 3rd floor in our church in our foyer, we have an enormous stairwell to the south. And across that wall on that floor as you're going down is a HUGE window. I would guess around 18 feet long. And as spring brings our sunshine for the first time I look out it and see an array of orchard, meticulously lined and in the background a huge snow capped mountain that literally goes from one end of the window to the other. And I simply smile and say, "Wow Lord. A window is simply the best art work I could purchase." Not only is this picture breathtaking, it will change weekly in view as the seasons change. YOU are so amazing. I LOVE it when I get the giggles to think who in their right mind would ever even attempt to compare with my God?? They certainly have lost their mind! :)

I love the way God reminds us of this in Isaiah.
Isaiah 40:25"To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.

I my Lord, will chose to compare you with no one. You have a realm all your own in my life, my heart and my mind but my prayer is not only will you know this but anyone else that looks upon my life shall know this witness to which I bear.

Smitten Unashamedly,

YOUR girl.
c

Mom's Love Runs Deep, FATHER's Love Runs DEEPEST

I simply want to thank God that He would use me at Sunday's funeral. Despite the funeral taking place at the exact same time as the Canada Gold game, over 800, of which many were youth, made the choice to honor the 20 year old man Bryce, that was suddenly taken from us by a rip tide as he snorkeled while vacationing on the shores of Maui.

The pain I felt in my heart overwhelmed me for this family. When the service had ended and I led the grieving family out of the auditorium, it was all I could do to make it to my office and close the door before I deeply wept.

As I stood on the platform and addressed the great number of people I couldn't help but continue to be drawn to speak directly to the family that sat right in front of me. As I looked at Bryce's petite, gentle mother in front, her eyes drowning in pain and sorrow, I longed to reach for her, but I couldn't. I wanted to take it away for her. But I couldn't. I wanted to say, "It would be ok." But I couldn't.

Rather for a moment, right while I was speaking it was if the picture of Jesus hanging on the tree flashed in my heart and mind, and the way He looked upon His own pained and sorrowful mother while dying. And despite being in such excruciating pain, the needs and care of His mother, were so important to Him that even there He says, "John 19:26When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son,"

Jesus is so tender and compassionate. Would you and I be thinking of our mother's needs at a time when we were just painfully crucified, bleeding, naked, pushing yourself up a bit on the nail that is pierced in your feet just long enough to whisper these words??? I'm embarrassed to admit it but I know I'd be wallowing in my own pain. :(

But my King, once again, inspires me. For even here He knows the painful loss when a child is ripped from their mother, and so suddenly was Jesus' death sprung on her, even though he talked of it freely for 3 years. Reality was here.

You and I think of dying, as did Bryce but not at 20 on vacation?? Reality was here.

As I looked at Bryce's mom... I literally could feel the pain in my heart long to give her a dear young man beside her that could be her son. Oh that somehow I could comfort her.

But grief must take it's course and that I know. We cannot rush it for then it will come back later in other ways, or harden our hearts in bitterness.

What I could give her though was the comfort and promise of God's word. For as I listened to our Lord during this time He reminded me there is something as strong as death. Song of Songs 8:6. "It is LOVE, Carrie." Tell her she doesn't ever need to stop loving. If anything the memories and love she has for Bryce can continue to flood her heart with joy. So I wonder how love can compete with the grave? But the 2nd part of that verse answers that too, saying "LOVE's jealousy is UNYIELDING as the grave". Wow... think on that. I LOVE IT!!!

Then to close it all off tying in the greatest love of all, GOD's. How He sees and knows all things, even where Bryce's body lies, which is painful for parents to think of at this point as it was not found in the ocean.

Then I wonder simply that Sunday morning before the funeral what verse exactly He wants me to speak to end the whole service. And then, literally a few hours before He gives me,
"For I am CONVINCED (you gotta imagine how passionately I said this verse) that NOTHING can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels won't, and all the power of hell itself cannot keep God's love away. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, or where we are- high above the sky, or IN THE DEEPEST OCEAN - nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when he died for us." Romans 8:38

He has taught me how blessed I was to carry this grieve for those 6 days with this beloved family. I was even more blessed to have mom and dad ask to come in to see me the day after and sit, talk and cry together as they shared deepest parts of their hearts.

The "Thank you" they gave me I cannot express in words. I felt as if it was directly from God. And literally it has motivated me yet again, to give all I possibly can to share life with anyone He asks me to. For in sincere love, they feel, witness and sense something different. Something you can't buy.

Oh Father, continue to teach me to be your moldable vessel that I would yet number my days according to your will and your way. That you would powerfully fill me up continually with your love and that I would long to pour it out, O that many would know there truly is a God who loves them from the highest heaven to the deepest ocean.

Love Poured Out in Life or Death

The last three days have me immersed in sharing the grief of a dear family that has returned from Maui without their 20 year old son, due to the tragic loss in the pull of the ocean's rip tide.

They will be having the memorial service at Trinity and I have been asked do the service. I don't take this lightly, actually completely opposite. My heart aches and despairs more than any other part of my job when I am asked to do such. Those that know me, know I won't just go through the motions, (my gifting of discernment doesn't even allow that) but rather I will chose to live and breathe this loss with this family that I might honor and love and respect them in such a difficult time. Not only do I desire to be there for them, but in these 4 days, KNOW as much of Bryce as possible that I can speak intimately and sincerely as a gift to them and so many others that will be there.

But above all I find myself constantly speaking and listening with God for HIS words, that I would speak and share His heart at this time. In this time and witnessing this families' love for one another ,I am so deeply moved in my spirit and once again revisit the gift that life truly is.

God has indeed given me His thoughts and words in the past 48 hours. It never ceases to amaze me when I listen and withdraw to understand, He speaks so clearly to me. But He knows that my heart is for Him. For these days were my days off, to even be with my husband in Vancouver near the olympics and pre celebrations to his sister's wedding, to have girl time with my daughter, and yet God has asked me to do something else. My flesh doesn't want to ... and yet God speaks to my heart to say "This is a high calling Carrie, do this for me."

So I surrender and these last 4 days I minister fully on His clock. But in this time, I am in awe of how He continues to pour thoughts, and words and insight even in Bryce's life to me.

Losing a 20 year old on vacation, and then speaking comfort and love, and officiating a large memorial service stretches me. Give me thousands of people to speak, and motivate on a specific topic... different story. And yet God brings to memory a time 7 years ago in a conversation we had.

I was sitting at my high school friend, Jenn's, father's funeral. All my high school friends were there and I had come in, dressed in my suit straight from Telus and sat at the very back of the funeral home. I remember how distraught so many of my friends were in this sudden passing of a dad that we all knew even as friends hanging at her house. And then an older somewhat expressionless man got up and officiated the service very matter of factly. It seemed so cold and mundane that I remember burning with almost an anger in me, not being judgemental but realizing such pain in and around me needed more comfort. So I whispered, "O Lord, if you ever gave me the chance to do a service like this, I would do it with my heart." And then somewhat laughed it off realizing that was the farthest stretch of my imagination as I closed off fourth Quarter leading in Sales with Telus.

It was just recently God reminds me of this and once again I'm humbled. Bowing before Him, sitting at His feet longing to listen to Him give me His words that I would simply portray His love to those that long for it desperately at this time. Is this not what life is about? Without God's love we're lost. I am called to share it, to be a witness to it.

Teach us to number our days a right that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12. This will be the theme of the message He gives me.

Even now He's teaching me that these last four days were numbered by Him to be poured out to others in their deepest moments. I find joy and peace knowing I am walking in His will.

We will be measured on how we did with the days He gave us. Each one of us has our number already determined and each day it gets smaller. If you could see your number now, would you procrastinate or live each day fully?

What if life is simply a test? We shall be measured according to what we are given.

I shall proclaim to our Lord what David said, "Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days, let me know how fleeting is my life." Psalm 39:4

Life is but a breath. Here today and gone tomorrow. As I inhale His goodness may I exhale His love.

Inquiring Minds Shall Know

*I wonder why so many HATE Jesus? People that don't even know Him really, just hate any mention of Him?

*I witness 2 parents meeting at a restaurant for lunch with their baby boy. Both arriving in separate cars, looks as if he's on his lunch break. As they leave to say good bye and head off in their separate cars "mom" takes the boy back from Dad's loving and playful arms and the baby starts crying desperately with arms wide open to not want to let his daddy go back to work. His arms still outreached and crying as his dad musters a smile as his heart despairs to break away. I wonder in that moment what the world would look like if we cried for our Father God with the same love, desperation and desire to never let go? Why is that such a ridiculous thought? (Lord, may you see me long as this baby did to be in your arms always).

*I witness leading young Sr High students a few guys and girls continuing on with desiring excellence while they would long a brief moment of undivided time from their busy business fathers. This breaks my heart.

*We have our first fully sunny and very mild day of the year. Coats off, sunglasses on, sunroofs open. Glorious. Everyone seems to be so cheerful and friendlier! It's refreshing and promotes new hope that we will yet say good bye to winter to bring in a new season of growth and life. As I experience this day my heart utters, "LORD as this beauty and warmth of today is to so many, so are you and your word to my soul. Thank you!"

*For all the time we spend watching, promoting, even talking, about some of the world's greatest athlete and marvelling and comparing countries, perhaps it would do us well to take a moment to marvel and direct the focus on the One that created both of these. He is the master of all. Our Creator!

*I see confidence arising in our youth that holds dignity in a higher place. Something to be desired in even the way they portray themselves to others.

*I witness a young woman at youth disruptive and not really engaged, to find myself wondering why she came? Then I run into her the NEXT day in the hall of her school and not only does she not avoid me, she waits until I get out of the washroom and introduces me to 3 of her friends. She is joyful and pleasant, smiling ear to ear. So gracious, even her make up is much softer over the dark black lines. She doesn't want to leave but continue talking. I walk away baffled but apologizing to God, though I had been somewhat resigned to her behaviour... God showed me that I really have no idea what she contemplated as she lied on her bed that night. We left with the excitement to see each other again next Wed.

I have many more... but have a family sitting around me right now, having completed all our Saturday chores, wanting to go and PLAY. :)

Oh to see beyond shallow to deeper things. I wonder if a scuba diver enjoys just skimming the surface?

Loving life,

C

"Mind" Matters

Are our many conveniences of today making life easier or actually training us and doing us a disservice, unknowingly? Are microwave and convenient dinners wolfed down by the kitchen sink, or in front of the TV, encouraging communication and relationship? Will our children know how to be social and handle situations face to face, or only under the comfort of having a lifeless object in front of them?

Do our motorized ways, enable the best use of physical energy? Snow blowers over snow shovels; paid landscapers, over my own lawn mower; converters over pushing the channel; lazy boys over ordinary chairs; internet over libraries; electric toothbrushes, touchless faucets and flushes, electronic robotic vacuums, etc.etc. How many of us get annoyed when we don't have a drive through? Now you know I could go on and on, but you get the idea. And granted I'm not saying many of these conveniences aren't good...

This is where it sparked. I walk by an older truck that still has left it's lights on by accident. It dawns on me that I rarely see that nowadays, given our lights that automatically go on and off with the car. And then I find myself thankful that we have this luxury. And yet the Spirit prompts me to look a bit deeper. If I had that older car now, how often would I be leaving my lights on???? My memory no longer needs to account for this. Then I start to think of how much less our memories are really being worked, stretched and trained.

If you lost your cell phone or blackberry how many phone numbers, email addresses would you remember off by heart? Really? I would completely be lost. We don't need to remember as much as we used to as we seem to do a google search, search the contact, sometimes just talk to the device and it responds?? Speeches can now be read from back monitor screens, etc. etc.

I find our youth less able to commit things for memory as our Seniors once could at their age. It's no wonder they are quite forgetful in leaving things behinds or losing things, etc. But listen I am an advocate for our youth, so I am NOT BLAMING them but rather encouraging them to step out beyond this and focus on training their memory skills.

Even starting tonight at YOUTH, I've implemented a memory challenge. If they can recite 2 specific things to me from memory, YES I have a prize for them. :) BUT I also commit to knowing and reciting what I'm asking them to, before I ask. For why shall I ask them to do something I wouldn't do myself first?

On a broader, deeper scale what happens when we take God for granted? When we no longer, say the Lord's prayer in School, study His word in depth, or recite verses from memory? How many young people know the old hymns? Even the classic Christmas carols are becoming distant. When we turn away from God, when we take Him for granted, His presence will indeed fade from our memories and lives.

As a Nation I pray it may never be said of Canada that we have forgotten our Maker.

So today I speak Peter's words, 2Peter 1:13 "I think it right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body."

My mind and my heart shall forever praise THEE, O GREAT GOD.

To THEE be all glory and honor and praise. May I never boast of another as I do you.

Mindfully and Wholeheartedly HIS,

C

Wayword to This World - Woo HOO!!

okay.. okay.. I'm getting the hint. Your emails, texts, etc... including my own son's comment on Thurs night, "So... I've been wondering if you are going to write on your blog soon?!"... lol! He was so cute.. then as I tried to explain I'd been away all last week at Board mtgs in Florida taking red eye flights, then back full swing into teaching, mtgs, etc... it's been a busy time.. BUT that didn't get me far, as I myself don't like excuses at any time. (I was merely just stating some truthful facts. I know.. I know...)

So he decided to sit with Alyssa and Brea while I was making dinner and have a LIVE blog session where his question was simply, "So... what's on your heart these days?" BIG :) It so moved my heart. He's a persevering little fellow.

I do apologize for taking longer than anticipated to write to you, as you all know there is so much in my heart in a day.

There is a huge thought that God has stirred my heart with about a month ago and it seems to be everywhere I go these days. It's been getting deeper and more spiritually inspired as God really shows me His heart in this. But I do want to take the right time to write about it as it is more of a controversial topic. But then again, so are many things that the enemy seems to have us deceived on.

***

God continues to bless our blended family so much. Brea got some news after school one day that made her feel so sad and Roger and I couldn't be there right away, BUT Alyssa her new sister was there. And the most beautiful thing transpired, for as tears rolled down Brea's face it was Alyssa that she reached for and together they hugged each other. And even now it's funny Brea talks at school of her sister and brother and her peers rudely try to correct her saying, isn't that your "STEP" sister and brother. Brea says, "Yes" but she claims to her friends she'd prefer to just call them the "real thing". It's her decision and such she has made!

She didn't tell me this until yesterday on the drive home. That morning as the kids left for school I for the first time ever referred to the kids as my Step Children just as I was telling a story about them. I was so convicted in my spirit and really thought about it after. I DON'T think it's right in my heart to call them this. So I've decided I won't in my quiet conversation with God. Then I share this with Brea and she can't believe I'm saying this! For she too had the exact same sense that it just seemed wrong. SO...We're Doing away with the STEP over here! Full-on flat playing field. No half way about it. :)

We've been talking a lot about relationships this week, especially given Valentine's around the corner after all we are social creatures. I have seen and witnessed many examples of the good and bad of this. Actually... I think I've personally been through every part of the the circle of what to do and not do in relationships. (Trust me not proud of that... but it does allow me now, to teach in a powerful way, having been there.)

In short, guys greatest downfall will be and has always been WOMEN. From Adam to the strongest, the wisest, the richest man of ancient of days, have fallen prey to the allure of a woman. hmmm.... In Proverbs 31:3, the Queen herself says to her son, "Son, do not spend your strength on women, or your vigor on THOSE who RUIN kings." Wow... so true though. As a fellow women in the corporate world to a restaurant, I see the influence a woman can play with to a man. Eight years ago God taught me how to lay this down entirely and trust Him, even rejecting money, fame, honor, etc... given by men.

So I passionately and defensively teach my young man not to be influenced or pulled off track from school, sports, careers, etc... as God equips and trains them to be His man first. Pride is given in what a man can accomplish and put his skill to as well, from that comes and establishment of home, and finance, etc. God will in turn bring THE wife He already has allocated for him if He trusts and waits on God.

And for women I counsel them to find TRUE LOVE first found in our LORD. For our greatest weakness is so desiring to be LOVED. Unfortunately the enemy twists some guy buying a girl lunch, a few love texts, and a drink at a party. A muffled "I love you" and there she goes, giving a wonderous gift of purity to a guy that seems to care for her in the moment. Why??... because in every woman there is a desire to feel precious, honored and loved. Truly. I didn't want to admit this for a long time, but I did want the truth of what a woman is from God and His word? Do you know that the earth trembles under an UNLOVED woman who is married? Prov 3:21,23. I can testify to this. That's why until a woman knows and realizes the trueness of God's love for her she will never truly be satisfied. I see this a lot in women nit picking men, or blaming, or looking elsewhere at some man that takes an interest in her, when really she just desires to be loved for WHO SHE IS... not the LIE that the media paints she ought to be. But for who she really is. A treasure verse of my Lord's love to me in this time was Isaiah 43:4a

You see, God taught me this in the hardest time of my life. And now, even with Roger, whom I love so completely, my love is drawn from God. From Him it overflows through me to Roger and vice versa. The love that He is teaching me is selfless and though a sacrifice initially, so incredibly beautiful as it evolves.

Today he is with 6 other guys, flown down in a private jet to Miami, playing golf, finest of cuisines, parties, etc... to embark on a LIVE viewing of yes... the SUPERBOWL. I know Florida well and the Hollywood, party nature of South Beach and all it's worldly attraction. And yet, although some of the women may feel jealous or upset, I truly am thanking God for this gift for Roger and SO EXCITED for him! Really. I prayed that for our monthly anniversary on the 7th I might be able to bless my husband in a tremendous way. Well... God helped me out on this one! :) Next to God, and his family, I know one great enjoyment for Roger is football. I LOVE how excited he gets when he watches, it talks about, etc.... it really blesses me. So I've even taken to understanding in detail more and more about all the teams, rules, etc. And yes, I am rather intrigued with the wisdom and sense of humility behind Peyton Manning. :)

On top of all that I get the blessing of having a girls' weekend with Brea, which we are BOTH SO THRILLED about!!! It's the first one we've had all alone since we've been married and we're having a lot of fun! She declared all week to her friends she was so excited for this weekend cause she got to hang with her mom all weekend. She told me that her friends think she's so weird that she likes being with her mom! We laughed so hard at that!!!

So circling back to my original stirring of the STEP elimination, here too, we rise the bar for celebrated time away, no jealousy but rather sheer excitement, and a mom and daughter who will show the world that WE SHALL be BFF!! (Best Friends Forever)

Since when... do I do things that seem to be in sync with this world!? Hopefully never... that is my goal. For my citizenship is not of here, and quite frankly my desire is that one day too it shall be said of me "The World was not worthy of her." (Hebrews 11:38). This is my prayer.

I love you Roger, Brea, Daniel and Alyssa. I count it a privilege to share this life with each of you.

Go Colts Go! (That's for you Baby... ) BIG :)