I simply want to thank God that He would use me at Sunday's funeral. Despite the funeral taking place at the exact same time as the Canada Gold game, over 800, of which many were youth, made the choice to honor the 20 year old man Bryce, that was suddenly taken from us by a rip tide as he snorkeled while vacationing on the shores of Maui.
The pain I felt in my heart overwhelmed me for this family. When the service had ended and I led the grieving family out of the auditorium, it was all I could do to make it to my office and close the door before I deeply wept.
As I stood on the platform and addressed the great number of people I couldn't help but continue to be drawn to speak directly to the family that sat right in front of me. As I looked at Bryce's petite, gentle mother in front, her eyes drowning in pain and sorrow, I longed to reach for her, but I couldn't. I wanted to take it away for her. But I couldn't. I wanted to say, "It would be ok." But I couldn't.
Rather for a moment, right while I was speaking it was if the picture of Jesus hanging on the tree flashed in my heart and mind, and the way He looked upon His own pained and sorrowful mother while dying. And despite being in such excruciating pain, the needs and care of His mother, were so important to Him that even there He says, "John 19:26When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son,"
Jesus is so tender and compassionate. Would you and I be thinking of our mother's needs at a time when we were just painfully crucified, bleeding, naked, pushing yourself up a bit on the nail that is pierced in your feet just long enough to whisper these words??? I'm embarrassed to admit it but I know I'd be wallowing in my own pain. :(
But my King, once again, inspires me. For even here He knows the painful loss when a child is ripped from their mother, and so suddenly was Jesus' death sprung on her, even though he talked of it freely for 3 years. Reality was here.
You and I think of dying, as did Bryce but not at 20 on vacation?? Reality was here.
As I looked at Bryce's mom... I literally could feel the pain in my heart long to give her a dear young man beside her that could be her son. Oh that somehow I could comfort her.
But grief must take it's course and that I know. We cannot rush it for then it will come back later in other ways, or harden our hearts in bitterness.
What I could give her though was the comfort and promise of God's word. For as I listened to our Lord during this time He reminded me there is something as strong as death. Song of Songs 8:6. "It is LOVE, Carrie." Tell her she doesn't ever need to stop loving. If anything the memories and love she has for Bryce can continue to flood her heart with joy. So I wonder how love can compete with the grave? But the 2nd part of that verse answers that too, saying "LOVE's jealousy is UNYIELDING as the grave". Wow... think on that. I LOVE IT!!!
Then to close it all off tying in the greatest love of all, GOD's. How He sees and knows all things, even where Bryce's body lies, which is painful for parents to think of at this point as it was not found in the ocean.
Then I wonder simply that Sunday morning before the funeral what verse exactly He wants me to speak to end the whole service. And then, literally a few hours before He gives me,
"For I am CONVINCED (you gotta imagine how passionately I said this verse) that NOTHING can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels won't, and all the power of hell itself cannot keep God's love away. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, or where we are- high above the sky, or IN THE DEEPEST OCEAN - nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when he died for us." Romans 8:38
He has taught me how blessed I was to carry this grieve for those 6 days with this beloved family. I was even more blessed to have mom and dad ask to come in to see me the day after and sit, talk and cry together as they shared deepest parts of their hearts.
The "Thank you" they gave me I cannot express in words. I felt as if it was directly from God. And literally it has motivated me yet again, to give all I possibly can to share life with anyone He asks me to. For in sincere love, they feel, witness and sense something different. Something you can't buy.
Oh Father, continue to teach me to be your moldable vessel that I would yet number my days according to your will and your way. That you would powerfully fill me up continually with your love and that I would long to pour it out, O that many would know there truly is a God who loves them from the highest heaven to the deepest ocean.
Friday, March 5, 2010
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