Commuter Convos

As I'm driving to work in the midst of so much change in my life, from my husband's job, my job, Brea just got a job! :), kids just finishing school, their step mom just had a baby, my husband travelling a lot, my whole family away right now in Fort Lauderdale on vacation, saying goodbye to some of my youth leaders that I've done ministry with for the past 3 years to release them to other spots in the world, to releasing many of the youth that have now graduated... and tears fill my eyes as I simply share my heart with the Lord.  Lord I feel in the midst of all this change I stand empty handed knowing not what any of it beholds, and yet you remind me that I have you.  My complete dependency is in you.  When all is stripped away that really is what it comes down to.  Seasons of change are never easy, but amidst the storm if I don't feet on the rock I'm doomed.

I thank Him for the reminder that HE is the guest that lives within me.  His Holy Spirit.  Wow.  I truly am never alone, for He never leaves me nor forsakes me.

Then I turn to listen to my bible on cd, and am truly blessed by this thought in scripture.  (Yes this is all happening on the way to work(the church.)).  I'm listening to Acts wanting to be refreshed and reminded of the truest roll out of church from the very onset, not the thousands of books that teach us church their way.  I desire HIS way.  But as I'm listening Acts 5:40-42 new revelation hits me.

Here's Peter and the apostles in jail the night before, brought before the Sanhedrin and the high priest being questioned.  Gamaliel gives an address that persuades the others to be careful for these men activity isn't of human origin but of God's.  So they agree to let them go for now... but FIRST they beat them!!!

v. 40  " They called in the apostles and had them flogged.  Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go."

I imagined myself coming into the the church foyer and a bunch of our police and city lawyers handcuffing me and saying "Pastor Carrie, we've had enough of you preaching about Christ."  Then beating me and letting me go with threats that I can't mention Jesus again.

???  Honestly.  How would I react?  My first thought is to give my head a shake and call Roger to ask him if this is really the job for me??  And then I grab a hold of myself and the guest inside me arises with boldness and confidence.  And I find my heart aching as I pray to Him for that same boldness.  That if that did happen that I would react as they did.

v. 41" The apostles left the Sanhedrin, REJOICING because they had been counted WORTHY of suffering disgrace for the Name."

Wow... rejoicing!  Again I picture myself being released with bloody nose, black eyes, wounds all over back into my car running into people in the parking lot, rejoicing.  "No this is a good thing."
Dumbfounded they respond, "WHY????"
"Because...in this moment I have been counted WORTHY of suffering for my Jesus."  Counted worthy.  wow...

You see there is disgrace from the world when we stand for Jesus.  It has always been that way and will continue.  So why do we shy away from even the littlest conversations that we can feel him prompting us to share.  Fear of rejection or disgrace?  Perhaps it's a shift of our mind to release that a little disgrace and a lot of rejection should bring us some rejoicing and a passion to persevere.

v. 42 "Day after day in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ."

Would we go on stress leave from work or would we be bold enough to be at the next day?  Really.

My simple prayer is "Lord rise up in me with a holy jealousy for your world and the people you so love.  That I would boldly share your love to all and everyone, despite any opposition.  But rather knowing opposition is often a sign of the enemy's jealousy.  And nothing, absolutely nothing can separate us from the love of God."

Interesting... but it was in the previous chapter that they prayed for this boldness, (Acts 4:29,30)  God was answering their prayer.  Perhaps we have not, because we haven't asked for help?

And yes.. this was my Spirit taught devotional in the car on the way to work.  LOL!  And you wonder why don't need a lot of entertainment....duhhh...