The last three days have me immersed in sharing the grief of a dear family that has returned from Maui without their 20 year old son, due to the tragic loss in the pull of the ocean's rip tide.
They will be having the memorial service at Trinity and I have been asked do the service. I don't take this lightly, actually completely opposite. My heart aches and despairs more than any other part of my job when I am asked to do such. Those that know me, know I won't just go through the motions, (my gifting of discernment doesn't even allow that) but rather I will chose to live and breathe this loss with this family that I might honor and love and respect them in such a difficult time. Not only do I desire to be there for them, but in these 4 days, KNOW as much of Bryce as possible that I can speak intimately and sincerely as a gift to them and so many others that will be there.
But above all I find myself constantly speaking and listening with God for HIS words, that I would speak and share His heart at this time. In this time and witnessing this families' love for one another ,I am so deeply moved in my spirit and once again revisit the gift that life truly is.
God has indeed given me His thoughts and words in the past 48 hours. It never ceases to amaze me when I listen and withdraw to understand, He speaks so clearly to me. But He knows that my heart is for Him. For these days were my days off, to even be with my husband in Vancouver near the olympics and pre celebrations to his sister's wedding, to have girl time with my daughter, and yet God has asked me to do something else. My flesh doesn't want to ... and yet God speaks to my heart to say "This is a high calling Carrie, do this for me."
So I surrender and these last 4 days I minister fully on His clock. But in this time, I am in awe of how He continues to pour thoughts, and words and insight even in Bryce's life to me.
Losing a 20 year old on vacation, and then speaking comfort and love, and officiating a large memorial service stretches me. Give me thousands of people to speak, and motivate on a specific topic... different story. And yet God brings to memory a time 7 years ago in a conversation we had.
I was sitting at my high school friend, Jenn's, father's funeral. All my high school friends were there and I had come in, dressed in my suit straight from Telus and sat at the very back of the funeral home. I remember how distraught so many of my friends were in this sudden passing of a dad that we all knew even as friends hanging at her house. And then an older somewhat expressionless man got up and officiated the service very matter of factly. It seemed so cold and mundane that I remember burning with almost an anger in me, not being judgemental but realizing such pain in and around me needed more comfort. So I whispered, "O Lord, if you ever gave me the chance to do a service like this, I would do it with my heart." And then somewhat laughed it off realizing that was the farthest stretch of my imagination as I closed off fourth Quarter leading in Sales with Telus.
It was just recently God reminds me of this and once again I'm humbled. Bowing before Him, sitting at His feet longing to listen to Him give me His words that I would simply portray His love to those that long for it desperately at this time. Is this not what life is about? Without God's love we're lost. I am called to share it, to be a witness to it.
Teach us to number our days a right that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12. This will be the theme of the message He gives me.
Even now He's teaching me that these last four days were numbered by Him to be poured out to others in their deepest moments. I find joy and peace knowing I am walking in His will.
We will be measured on how we did with the days He gave us. Each one of us has our number already determined and each day it gets smaller. If you could see your number now, would you procrastinate or live each day fully?
What if life is simply a test? We shall be measured according to what we are given.
I shall proclaim to our Lord what David said, "Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days, let me know how fleeting is my life." Psalm 39:4
Life is but a breath. Here today and gone tomorrow. As I inhale His goodness may I exhale His love.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Inquiring Minds Shall Know
*I wonder why so many HATE Jesus? People that don't even know Him really, just hate any mention of Him?
*I witness 2 parents meeting at a restaurant for lunch with their baby boy. Both arriving in separate cars, looks as if he's on his lunch break. As they leave to say good bye and head off in their separate cars "mom" takes the boy back from Dad's loving and playful arms and the baby starts crying desperately with arms wide open to not want to let his daddy go back to work. His arms still outreached and crying as his dad musters a smile as his heart despairs to break away. I wonder in that moment what the world would look like if we cried for our Father God with the same love, desperation and desire to never let go? Why is that such a ridiculous thought? (Lord, may you see me long as this baby did to be in your arms always).
*I witness leading young Sr High students a few guys and girls continuing on with desiring excellence while they would long a brief moment of undivided time from their busy business fathers. This breaks my heart.
*We have our first fully sunny and very mild day of the year. Coats off, sunglasses on, sunroofs open. Glorious. Everyone seems to be so cheerful and friendlier! It's refreshing and promotes new hope that we will yet say good bye to winter to bring in a new season of growth and life. As I experience this day my heart utters, "LORD as this beauty and warmth of today is to so many, so are you and your word to my soul. Thank you!"
*For all the time we spend watching, promoting, even talking, about some of the world's greatest athlete and marvelling and comparing countries, perhaps it would do us well to take a moment to marvel and direct the focus on the One that created both of these. He is the master of all. Our Creator!
*I see confidence arising in our youth that holds dignity in a higher place. Something to be desired in even the way they portray themselves to others.
*I witness a young woman at youth disruptive and not really engaged, to find myself wondering why she came? Then I run into her the NEXT day in the hall of her school and not only does she not avoid me, she waits until I get out of the washroom and introduces me to 3 of her friends. She is joyful and pleasant, smiling ear to ear. So gracious, even her make up is much softer over the dark black lines. She doesn't want to leave but continue talking. I walk away baffled but apologizing to God, though I had been somewhat resigned to her behaviour... God showed me that I really have no idea what she contemplated as she lied on her bed that night. We left with the excitement to see each other again next Wed.
I have many more... but have a family sitting around me right now, having completed all our Saturday chores, wanting to go and PLAY. :)
Oh to see beyond shallow to deeper things. I wonder if a scuba diver enjoys just skimming the surface?
Loving life,
C
*I witness 2 parents meeting at a restaurant for lunch with their baby boy. Both arriving in separate cars, looks as if he's on his lunch break. As they leave to say good bye and head off in their separate cars "mom" takes the boy back from Dad's loving and playful arms and the baby starts crying desperately with arms wide open to not want to let his daddy go back to work. His arms still outreached and crying as his dad musters a smile as his heart despairs to break away. I wonder in that moment what the world would look like if we cried for our Father God with the same love, desperation and desire to never let go? Why is that such a ridiculous thought? (Lord, may you see me long as this baby did to be in your arms always).
*I witness leading young Sr High students a few guys and girls continuing on with desiring excellence while they would long a brief moment of undivided time from their busy business fathers. This breaks my heart.
*We have our first fully sunny and very mild day of the year. Coats off, sunglasses on, sunroofs open. Glorious. Everyone seems to be so cheerful and friendlier! It's refreshing and promotes new hope that we will yet say good bye to winter to bring in a new season of growth and life. As I experience this day my heart utters, "LORD as this beauty and warmth of today is to so many, so are you and your word to my soul. Thank you!"
*For all the time we spend watching, promoting, even talking, about some of the world's greatest athlete and marvelling and comparing countries, perhaps it would do us well to take a moment to marvel and direct the focus on the One that created both of these. He is the master of all. Our Creator!
*I see confidence arising in our youth that holds dignity in a higher place. Something to be desired in even the way they portray themselves to others.
*I witness a young woman at youth disruptive and not really engaged, to find myself wondering why she came? Then I run into her the NEXT day in the hall of her school and not only does she not avoid me, she waits until I get out of the washroom and introduces me to 3 of her friends. She is joyful and pleasant, smiling ear to ear. So gracious, even her make up is much softer over the dark black lines. She doesn't want to leave but continue talking. I walk away baffled but apologizing to God, though I had been somewhat resigned to her behaviour... God showed me that I really have no idea what she contemplated as she lied on her bed that night. We left with the excitement to see each other again next Wed.
I have many more... but have a family sitting around me right now, having completed all our Saturday chores, wanting to go and PLAY. :)
Oh to see beyond shallow to deeper things. I wonder if a scuba diver enjoys just skimming the surface?
Loving life,
C
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
"Mind" Matters
Are our many conveniences of today making life easier or actually training us and doing us a disservice, unknowingly? Are microwave and convenient dinners wolfed down by the kitchen sink, or in front of the TV, encouraging communication and relationship? Will our children know how to be social and handle situations face to face, or only under the comfort of having a lifeless object in front of them?
Do our motorized ways, enable the best use of physical energy? Snow blowers over snow shovels; paid landscapers, over my own lawn mower; converters over pushing the channel; lazy boys over ordinary chairs; internet over libraries; electric toothbrushes, touchless faucets and flushes, electronic robotic vacuums, etc.etc. How many of us get annoyed when we don't have a drive through? Now you know I could go on and on, but you get the idea. And granted I'm not saying many of these conveniences aren't good...
This is where it sparked. I walk by an older truck that still has left it's lights on by accident. It dawns on me that I rarely see that nowadays, given our lights that automatically go on and off with the car. And then I find myself thankful that we have this luxury. And yet the Spirit prompts me to look a bit deeper. If I had that older car now, how often would I be leaving my lights on???? My memory no longer needs to account for this. Then I start to think of how much less our memories are really being worked, stretched and trained.
If you lost your cell phone or blackberry how many phone numbers, email addresses would you remember off by heart? Really? I would completely be lost. We don't need to remember as much as we used to as we seem to do a google search, search the contact, sometimes just talk to the device and it responds?? Speeches can now be read from back monitor screens, etc. etc.
I find our youth less able to commit things for memory as our Seniors once could at their age. It's no wonder they are quite forgetful in leaving things behinds or losing things, etc. But listen I am an advocate for our youth, so I am NOT BLAMING them but rather encouraging them to step out beyond this and focus on training their memory skills.
Even starting tonight at YOUTH, I've implemented a memory challenge. If they can recite 2 specific things to me from memory, YES I have a prize for them. :) BUT I also commit to knowing and reciting what I'm asking them to, before I ask. For why shall I ask them to do something I wouldn't do myself first?
On a broader, deeper scale what happens when we take God for granted? When we no longer, say the Lord's prayer in School, study His word in depth, or recite verses from memory? How many young people know the old hymns? Even the classic Christmas carols are becoming distant. When we turn away from God, when we take Him for granted, His presence will indeed fade from our memories and lives.
As a Nation I pray it may never be said of Canada that we have forgotten our Maker.
So today I speak Peter's words, 2Peter 1:13 "I think it right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body."
My mind and my heart shall forever praise THEE, O GREAT GOD.
To THEE be all glory and honor and praise. May I never boast of another as I do you.
Mindfully and Wholeheartedly HIS,
C
Do our motorized ways, enable the best use of physical energy? Snow blowers over snow shovels; paid landscapers, over my own lawn mower; converters over pushing the channel; lazy boys over ordinary chairs; internet over libraries; electric toothbrushes, touchless faucets and flushes, electronic robotic vacuums, etc.etc. How many of us get annoyed when we don't have a drive through? Now you know I could go on and on, but you get the idea. And granted I'm not saying many of these conveniences aren't good...
This is where it sparked. I walk by an older truck that still has left it's lights on by accident. It dawns on me that I rarely see that nowadays, given our lights that automatically go on and off with the car. And then I find myself thankful that we have this luxury. And yet the Spirit prompts me to look a bit deeper. If I had that older car now, how often would I be leaving my lights on???? My memory no longer needs to account for this. Then I start to think of how much less our memories are really being worked, stretched and trained.
If you lost your cell phone or blackberry how many phone numbers, email addresses would you remember off by heart? Really? I would completely be lost. We don't need to remember as much as we used to as we seem to do a google search, search the contact, sometimes just talk to the device and it responds?? Speeches can now be read from back monitor screens, etc. etc.
I find our youth less able to commit things for memory as our Seniors once could at their age. It's no wonder they are quite forgetful in leaving things behinds or losing things, etc. But listen I am an advocate for our youth, so I am NOT BLAMING them but rather encouraging them to step out beyond this and focus on training their memory skills.
Even starting tonight at YOUTH, I've implemented a memory challenge. If they can recite 2 specific things to me from memory, YES I have a prize for them. :) BUT I also commit to knowing and reciting what I'm asking them to, before I ask. For why shall I ask them to do something I wouldn't do myself first?
On a broader, deeper scale what happens when we take God for granted? When we no longer, say the Lord's prayer in School, study His word in depth, or recite verses from memory? How many young people know the old hymns? Even the classic Christmas carols are becoming distant. When we turn away from God, when we take Him for granted, His presence will indeed fade from our memories and lives.
As a Nation I pray it may never be said of Canada that we have forgotten our Maker.
So today I speak Peter's words, 2Peter 1:13 "I think it right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body."
My mind and my heart shall forever praise THEE, O GREAT GOD.
To THEE be all glory and honor and praise. May I never boast of another as I do you.
Mindfully and Wholeheartedly HIS,
C
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Wayword to This World - Woo HOO!!
okay.. okay.. I'm getting the hint. Your emails, texts, etc... including my own son's comment on Thurs night, "So... I've been wondering if you are going to write on your blog soon?!"... lol! He was so cute.. then as I tried to explain I'd been away all last week at Board mtgs in Florida taking red eye flights, then back full swing into teaching, mtgs, etc... it's been a busy time.. BUT that didn't get me far, as I myself don't like excuses at any time. (I was merely just stating some truthful facts. I know.. I know...)
So he decided to sit with Alyssa and Brea while I was making dinner and have a LIVE blog session where his question was simply, "So... what's on your heart these days?" BIG :) It so moved my heart. He's a persevering little fellow.
I do apologize for taking longer than anticipated to write to you, as you all know there is so much in my heart in a day.
There is a huge thought that God has stirred my heart with about a month ago and it seems to be everywhere I go these days. It's been getting deeper and more spiritually inspired as God really shows me His heart in this. But I do want to take the right time to write about it as it is more of a controversial topic. But then again, so are many things that the enemy seems to have us deceived on.
***
God continues to bless our blended family so much. Brea got some news after school one day that made her feel so sad and Roger and I couldn't be there right away, BUT Alyssa her new sister was there. And the most beautiful thing transpired, for as tears rolled down Brea's face it was Alyssa that she reached for and together they hugged each other. And even now it's funny Brea talks at school of her sister and brother and her peers rudely try to correct her saying, isn't that your "STEP" sister and brother. Brea says, "Yes" but she claims to her friends she'd prefer to just call them the "real thing". It's her decision and such she has made!
She didn't tell me this until yesterday on the drive home. That morning as the kids left for school I for the first time ever referred to the kids as my Step Children just as I was telling a story about them. I was so convicted in my spirit and really thought about it after. I DON'T think it's right in my heart to call them this. So I've decided I won't in my quiet conversation with God. Then I share this with Brea and she can't believe I'm saying this! For she too had the exact same sense that it just seemed wrong. SO...We're Doing away with the STEP over here! Full-on flat playing field. No half way about it. :)
We've been talking a lot about relationships this week, especially given Valentine's around the corner after all we are social creatures. I have seen and witnessed many examples of the good and bad of this. Actually... I think I've personally been through every part of the the circle of what to do and not do in relationships. (Trust me not proud of that... but it does allow me now, to teach in a powerful way, having been there.)
In short, guys greatest downfall will be and has always been WOMEN. From Adam to the strongest, the wisest, the richest man of ancient of days, have fallen prey to the allure of a woman. hmmm.... In Proverbs 31:3, the Queen herself says to her son, "Son, do not spend your strength on women, or your vigor on THOSE who RUIN kings." Wow... so true though. As a fellow women in the corporate world to a restaurant, I see the influence a woman can play with to a man. Eight years ago God taught me how to lay this down entirely and trust Him, even rejecting money, fame, honor, etc... given by men.
So I passionately and defensively teach my young man not to be influenced or pulled off track from school, sports, careers, etc... as God equips and trains them to be His man first. Pride is given in what a man can accomplish and put his skill to as well, from that comes and establishment of home, and finance, etc. God will in turn bring THE wife He already has allocated for him if He trusts and waits on God.
And for women I counsel them to find TRUE LOVE first found in our LORD. For our greatest weakness is so desiring to be LOVED. Unfortunately the enemy twists some guy buying a girl lunch, a few love texts, and a drink at a party. A muffled "I love you" and there she goes, giving a wonderous gift of purity to a guy that seems to care for her in the moment. Why??... because in every woman there is a desire to feel precious, honored and loved. Truly. I didn't want to admit this for a long time, but I did want the truth of what a woman is from God and His word? Do you know that the earth trembles under an UNLOVED woman who is married? Prov 3:21,23. I can testify to this. That's why until a woman knows and realizes the trueness of God's love for her she will never truly be satisfied. I see this a lot in women nit picking men, or blaming, or looking elsewhere at some man that takes an interest in her, when really she just desires to be loved for WHO SHE IS... not the LIE that the media paints she ought to be. But for who she really is. A treasure verse of my Lord's love to me in this time was Isaiah 43:4a
You see, God taught me this in the hardest time of my life. And now, even with Roger, whom I love so completely, my love is drawn from God. From Him it overflows through me to Roger and vice versa. The love that He is teaching me is selfless and though a sacrifice initially, so incredibly beautiful as it evolves.
Today he is with 6 other guys, flown down in a private jet to Miami, playing golf, finest of cuisines, parties, etc... to embark on a LIVE viewing of yes... the SUPERBOWL. I know Florida well and the Hollywood, party nature of South Beach and all it's worldly attraction. And yet, although some of the women may feel jealous or upset, I truly am thanking God for this gift for Roger and SO EXCITED for him! Really. I prayed that for our monthly anniversary on the 7th I might be able to bless my husband in a tremendous way. Well... God helped me out on this one! :) Next to God, and his family, I know one great enjoyment for Roger is football. I LOVE how excited he gets when he watches, it talks about, etc.... it really blesses me. So I've even taken to understanding in detail more and more about all the teams, rules, etc. And yes, I am rather intrigued with the wisdom and sense of humility behind Peyton Manning. :)
On top of all that I get the blessing of having a girls' weekend with Brea, which we are BOTH SO THRILLED about!!! It's the first one we've had all alone since we've been married and we're having a lot of fun! She declared all week to her friends she was so excited for this weekend cause she got to hang with her mom all weekend. She told me that her friends think she's so weird that she likes being with her mom! We laughed so hard at that!!!
So circling back to my original stirring of the STEP elimination, here too, we rise the bar for celebrated time away, no jealousy but rather sheer excitement, and a mom and daughter who will show the world that WE SHALL be BFF!! (Best Friends Forever)
Since when... do I do things that seem to be in sync with this world!? Hopefully never... that is my goal. For my citizenship is not of here, and quite frankly my desire is that one day too it shall be said of me "The World was not worthy of her." (Hebrews 11:38). This is my prayer.
I love you Roger, Brea, Daniel and Alyssa. I count it a privilege to share this life with each of you.
Go Colts Go! (That's for you Baby... ) BIG :)
So he decided to sit with Alyssa and Brea while I was making dinner and have a LIVE blog session where his question was simply, "So... what's on your heart these days?" BIG :) It so moved my heart. He's a persevering little fellow.
I do apologize for taking longer than anticipated to write to you, as you all know there is so much in my heart in a day.
There is a huge thought that God has stirred my heart with about a month ago and it seems to be everywhere I go these days. It's been getting deeper and more spiritually inspired as God really shows me His heart in this. But I do want to take the right time to write about it as it is more of a controversial topic. But then again, so are many things that the enemy seems to have us deceived on.
***
God continues to bless our blended family so much. Brea got some news after school one day that made her feel so sad and Roger and I couldn't be there right away, BUT Alyssa her new sister was there. And the most beautiful thing transpired, for as tears rolled down Brea's face it was Alyssa that she reached for and together they hugged each other. And even now it's funny Brea talks at school of her sister and brother and her peers rudely try to correct her saying, isn't that your "STEP" sister and brother. Brea says, "Yes" but she claims to her friends she'd prefer to just call them the "real thing". It's her decision and such she has made!
She didn't tell me this until yesterday on the drive home. That morning as the kids left for school I for the first time ever referred to the kids as my Step Children just as I was telling a story about them. I was so convicted in my spirit and really thought about it after. I DON'T think it's right in my heart to call them this. So I've decided I won't in my quiet conversation with God. Then I share this with Brea and she can't believe I'm saying this! For she too had the exact same sense that it just seemed wrong. SO...We're Doing away with the STEP over here! Full-on flat playing field. No half way about it. :)
We've been talking a lot about relationships this week, especially given Valentine's around the corner after all we are social creatures. I have seen and witnessed many examples of the good and bad of this. Actually... I think I've personally been through every part of the the circle of what to do and not do in relationships. (Trust me not proud of that... but it does allow me now, to teach in a powerful way, having been there.)
In short, guys greatest downfall will be and has always been WOMEN. From Adam to the strongest, the wisest, the richest man of ancient of days, have fallen prey to the allure of a woman. hmmm.... In Proverbs 31:3, the Queen herself says to her son, "Son, do not spend your strength on women, or your vigor on THOSE who RUIN kings." Wow... so true though. As a fellow women in the corporate world to a restaurant, I see the influence a woman can play with to a man. Eight years ago God taught me how to lay this down entirely and trust Him, even rejecting money, fame, honor, etc... given by men.
So I passionately and defensively teach my young man not to be influenced or pulled off track from school, sports, careers, etc... as God equips and trains them to be His man first. Pride is given in what a man can accomplish and put his skill to as well, from that comes and establishment of home, and finance, etc. God will in turn bring THE wife He already has allocated for him if He trusts and waits on God.
And for women I counsel them to find TRUE LOVE first found in our LORD. For our greatest weakness is so desiring to be LOVED. Unfortunately the enemy twists some guy buying a girl lunch, a few love texts, and a drink at a party. A muffled "I love you" and there she goes, giving a wonderous gift of purity to a guy that seems to care for her in the moment. Why??... because in every woman there is a desire to feel precious, honored and loved. Truly. I didn't want to admit this for a long time, but I did want the truth of what a woman is from God and His word? Do you know that the earth trembles under an UNLOVED woman who is married? Prov 3:21,23. I can testify to this. That's why until a woman knows and realizes the trueness of God's love for her she will never truly be satisfied. I see this a lot in women nit picking men, or blaming, or looking elsewhere at some man that takes an interest in her, when really she just desires to be loved for WHO SHE IS... not the LIE that the media paints she ought to be. But for who she really is. A treasure verse of my Lord's love to me in this time was Isaiah 43:4a
You see, God taught me this in the hardest time of my life. And now, even with Roger, whom I love so completely, my love is drawn from God. From Him it overflows through me to Roger and vice versa. The love that He is teaching me is selfless and though a sacrifice initially, so incredibly beautiful as it evolves.
Today he is with 6 other guys, flown down in a private jet to Miami, playing golf, finest of cuisines, parties, etc... to embark on a LIVE viewing of yes... the SUPERBOWL. I know Florida well and the Hollywood, party nature of South Beach and all it's worldly attraction. And yet, although some of the women may feel jealous or upset, I truly am thanking God for this gift for Roger and SO EXCITED for him! Really. I prayed that for our monthly anniversary on the 7th I might be able to bless my husband in a tremendous way. Well... God helped me out on this one! :) Next to God, and his family, I know one great enjoyment for Roger is football. I LOVE how excited he gets when he watches, it talks about, etc.... it really blesses me. So I've even taken to understanding in detail more and more about all the teams, rules, etc. And yes, I am rather intrigued with the wisdom and sense of humility behind Peyton Manning. :)
On top of all that I get the blessing of having a girls' weekend with Brea, which we are BOTH SO THRILLED about!!! It's the first one we've had all alone since we've been married and we're having a lot of fun! She declared all week to her friends she was so excited for this weekend cause she got to hang with her mom all weekend. She told me that her friends think she's so weird that she likes being with her mom! We laughed so hard at that!!!
So circling back to my original stirring of the STEP elimination, here too, we rise the bar for celebrated time away, no jealousy but rather sheer excitement, and a mom and daughter who will show the world that WE SHALL be BFF!! (Best Friends Forever)
Since when... do I do things that seem to be in sync with this world!? Hopefully never... that is my goal. For my citizenship is not of here, and quite frankly my desire is that one day too it shall be said of me "The World was not worthy of her." (Hebrews 11:38). This is my prayer.
I love you Roger, Brea, Daniel and Alyssa. I count it a privilege to share this life with each of you.
Go Colts Go! (That's for you Baby... ) BIG :)
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