Who am I, REALLY?

I am untouchable until the day God has determined that I shall enter eternity.  UNTOUCHABLE.  Cool eh?  God already knows.

I have asked my family not to spend money on a funeral but rather for them to buy a plane ticket to Israel and take my ashes and sprinkle them on the Mount of Olives overlooking Jerusalem.  Then spend time in my favourite country in the world.  :)

Is death a morbid thought to you?  It shouldn't be.  For those who have submitted their lives to Jesus have been given the gift of eternal life.  For we only shall sleep in death as we pass through the valley of death He will walk with us.  (Psalm 23)

As I journey daily with the God of the universe and His son Jesus Christ, by the power of HIS Spirit in me daily, I am diving deeper than ever beyond the mere thoughts of humans.  Why not?

"Who's your teacher Carrie?"

" ... ahhh... God.  Yes God Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth the sea and everything in it."

"And where exactly is HE?"

"He's in me and His text book that He constantly brings alive is the Bible."

In my studies this week... I'm simply so humbled that everything is about God.  I regret to think that I was ever good at anything... really.  I'm laughing thinking about it.  We are but this little mist, maybe of 70 years, relative to thousands of years and billions of people.... do I really make that big of a difference??  lol....  Who are we??  Who are we next to God?  Nothing.  So what is my purpose here?

It is this... to bring glory to Him.  That people would look at me and see more of Jesus.  What does that look like?  Nothing selfish, but sacrificially giving of myself.  To look something entirely different than how others may be treading through life.  That money, fame, honor wouldn't have a hold on me but that I'd be so relentlessly desiring His praise, His glory, His fame and wisdom to be shown off to so many.

Once a fellow pastor told me I was too zealous for God.  I humbly took it away somewhat saddened and just asked Him as I always do when someone says something to me.  I want Him to just tell me the truth.  I trust Him.

"Lord am I too zealous?  Do I need to tone it down a bit?"
"Carrie, when you get to heaven with me and I look upon you, do you think I will say, 'Carrie, you really shouldn't have been so excited about me??'"  That's all I could hear Him say and instantly I chuckled with Him and was refreshed in my pursuit again of more of Him.

I won't ever push my God on anyone, especially my children as they develop their own journey.  BUT ask anyone that knows me well, and even if I am so tired and quiet there is one thing that someone can ask me about and I'll somehow get all fired up and go on and on......  YES... Jesus.

God is so great and so awesome.  No one is His equal.  And it brings me SUCH joy to say that!!  I don't need people to praise me, I don't need to be a great preacher, famous, or have millions of dollars, but I do want Him to know that there is no one greater to ME than Him.  He's the apple of my eye, and quite frankly I love it when He shows of.

Even as I was reading Jeremiah 36:26 I chuckled that when you play hide and seek with God, you don't stand a chance.  What He hides no one can find.  So why do we worry, why don't we trust Him more?  When we do we start to talk about everything with Him.  We spend the majority of our days talking to Him and then looking to His word for His answers.  (See how time in His word teaches us of Him but gives us hope and security in truth)

Even as I saw a clip today of New York Times Square on the news, I gave Him glory.  Why?

Well I was there just this past year with my husband, sister and her finance.  We had a great time.  But as I looked all around at Times Square it BUSTLED with activity.  Much like Vegas, but more corporate mixed with tourists and entertainment.  There was so much going on in every inch of that square and yet today a LIVE picture showed it as a ghost town.  Why?  Because God is rolling through His power with a storm that causes everyone to be reminded that we're nothing next to His great power.  And instantly I am reminded of His word, " I say to the rain shower, 'Be a mighty downpour.' So that all people that He has made know His work, he stops everyone from their labor."  Job 37:7

Awesome eh?  So why Hurricane Irene?  Well as your boarding up your homes, and even the NY subway shuts down, remember that God is God.  His power beyond understanding.  Let's simply humble ourselves with joy, remembering that "I am nothing.. but you my Lord are EVERYTHING."

May my life bring you glory, Lord.  I am yours unashamedly.

xo

(Isaiah 45:14,21b, 46:9, 48:11)

What's YOUR Pleasure?

Where is truth?  With so many religions to chose from, so many brands of every product, remedies, prescriptions, websites, so many so called "experts", how do you know what's right?? 

Why do we have such a hard time now drawing a line between right and wrong?  Our kids are growing up that everything is acceptable.  Teachers don't fail students or even put an "X" on an assignments.  Is this good??  How will a child becoming an adult deal with rejection? Will they ever know true right and wrong?

If we don't have enough money, max out credit cards, loans, mortgages, car payments, etc.... If you don't like your look photo shop it and airbrush what you want\. If you don't like your job, quit.  If you don't like your spouse just get a new one??  Do you see this pattern?  Where is our faithfulness; our pursuit and perseverance to seek the truth, the right answer?  Are we too gullible?

I look around and it is only spend time in His word do I find my own perceptions are reset to absolute truth.  His word is my plumb line, my gauge for authentic truth.  And to be honest I often feel alone in my views or too rigid and yet I have chosen to not let down that bar. 

"I do DESIRE, more than ever, the absolute truth, Lord.  I don't care what everyone else thinks I want YOUR opinion." 

Are we more concerned with that or just fitting in?  You see I will never fit in here again.  Jesus has never been cool, and He won't be to the masses.  So if I'm looking for a Jesus that everyone is going to love, it will not happen.  For evil is abounding in great measure and the conviction of sin and desire to remain in our own dark ways causes human nature to hate God and light.  Therefore I take comfort in the fact that the closer I draw to Him the more of a stranger to this world I become.  I find joy in that.  I have this smile that gently floods my heart and soul as I can hear His voice talk to me so readily as I ask what He sees in every situation.

I guess the question we must ask ourselves is, is it your desire to please God or people?  I was so convicted of this as I read John 12:43 this week.  "for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God."  Seek to please Him first and all other things will fall into place.  My desire above all is to please Him.  None of this will last.  But one day we will stand before Almighty God and give an account for our lives spent here on earth.  And as we look face to face will His eyes penetrate deep to your soul saddened or will His mouth flood into a grin that melts your very heart and soul into one immortal being as complete satisfaction, peace, love and joy unite you with Him?  The sheer joy of knowing you chose Him here and now believing that one day you'd meet Him and as a result living for a kingdom now that is not of this world. 

Turn your eyes to Jesus, look full in His wonderful face.  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.

Birthday Presence

My birthday has never been a really big thing for me , I’d much rather make the fuss on other’s special days.  I keep getting asked what I want for my birthday, but to be honest I sincerely don’t need anything.  To me the best gifts can never hold a price tag.  And as I ponder this past year I am reminded of the priceless gift God has blessed me with this year.   For 3 John 1:4 has found a new reality in my heart.  “ I have no greater joy than to hear my children are walking in the truth.”   All three of our kids have the deepest walk in truth I have yet witnessed.  What joy to a parent’s heart, what a gift that I simply want to be joyfully thankful for this year.

I will share with you from this past week and the heart of my eldest while it is so fresh.  I can honestly say, she brings me to my knees not only in thankfulness but in a deep and pure love for more of Him even in my own life.  May I always press in enough that our children would having a living example before their eyes that spiritually leads them in truth despite the competition of worldly distractions and pleasures. 

Recently Brea got her first job.  Which in itself took a lot of work including Roger and I helping to encourage resume building, application, gathering, interviewing skills, etc.  lol  I felt as if I was working back at TELUS in job building skills.

Despite Brea only being 15 she was given an interview that day and the first of 20 applications was indeed the one that hired her.  She is years younger than the other women in the teen clothing store, and yet her maturity had led to the belief that she was well beyond what her birth certificate reads.  J

As Brea transitions to the “corporate world” I see her pure eyes awakened to the reality of pride, greed, money, ungratefulness, beauty at all costs, hard selfless grunt work, being taken advantage of, being an outlet of stress and still yet finding joy in learning and accomplishing and blessing other staff and customers with you joy and a cheerful attitude.

The stress and pressure, the injustice in 19 year olds lording it over your precious 15 year old rises the hairs on my neck and causes me many deep meditative breaths… ughhh… It’s one thing for me to deal with it, it’s a whole other thing to have your gentle gracious daughter taken advantage of.  But yes there are lessons for all of us in this.  Lol!  So we debrief and talk constantly about what is really going on when she shares the situation and sure enough she seems the truth of it unfold shortly afterwards.

This is a turn in Brea’s life.  In a few months she will begin to drive the car and I don’t ever want to hold her back but I have indeed upped my prayers for her and her protection.  Interestingly God has been teaching her more than ever through this all.

She’s been faithfully reading through the entire bible every day.  She won’t miss a day.  We recently read the passage in John 6 where Jesus had just been deserted by so many as his teaching was too hard for them.  And then He looks at his disciples and asks them if they too want to desert him?  Peter responds, “Where would we go we know you are the Holy one of God.” 

Then just this week at work Brea’s manager asked her in a poking fun tone, “Are you religious?” 

The famous question… the stand that is so HUGE for every teen.  Their identity and fitting in associated with God.  She could hear this wrestle in her head wanting to please her boss and others, but knowing she did indeed love her Lord. 

As she was telling me I was prepared that she felt pressure to confess she wasn’t “Religious” and just left it at that.  BUT to my surprise she said, “No mom, I’m standing for my Lord.”  And I said, “Yes I am.” 

Her boss was taken back and made some comments that she noticed she never swore and such.  But they left it at that.  Later it seemed they were acting different towards her; trying to change their own choice of words and somewhat walking on eggshells.  Brea called them out on it.  (Again you can picture the look on my face as my mouth drops open!) 

“Yeah Mom, I just told them they didn’t need to change for me.  They should just be who they are I was fine with it.  I don’t want to PUSH my religion on them.”  Right away they were put at ease respected Brea even more for mentioning it and went back to normal.

I told Brea how proud I was of her.  But more importantly God.  He was testing her.  I reminded her of the passage that declares if we are not ashamed of Jesus He will mention our names before the angels.  Then I went on to bring the passage to life in a dramatic way replaying the heavenly conversation as we rode our bikes together.  She smiled as did I .  Powerful.

Then she added how that very night this happened on TV the Jesus film was playing and as soon as it came on, it came to that part of the verse I’d said earlier with Jesus looking at His disciples asking if they wanted to leave him?  The odds were too divine.  She then realized that this whole process from when she first read the verse to the practical application was all based on God teaching her intimately.  I told her that God is calling her deeper into His relationship with her and she is right smack in the middle of His will.  It’s so beautiful.  So blessed my heart.  An answer to my prayers.  And to now encourage her boldly in this pursuit.  We ended the conversation with Brea saying, “Mom I can have many conversations with so many people but they are never as deep and as filled with the Spirit as you and I.” 

“Lord the very gift you gave me in my precious daughter I give to you fully.  She is yours I simply pray that as she walks the road of life you would continue to be ever close to her, protecting and guiding her.  I have no greater joy than to see this precious gift walking fully hand in hand with you, my first love.  Now becoming her first love.”

Recent Random Renderings

Recently God has blessed me with the counsel and advice of my very own Social Media Agent.  Some of you are already laughing... but it's a gift to me and I know it will keep me on my toes in communicating in a more frequent way.  So I'm starting today by working with him.  My first prerequisite is to update my blog every Sunday.  So ... I shall.  :)  I'll keep you posted as I've agreed to a twitter account, but haven't given into the facebook quite yet.  We'll see. 

A few random thoughts that have entered my heart and mind this week for you to chew on...

If only we were as vulnerable in our relationships and hearts as we are in the way our dresses. 

On Jan 2, I spoke a sermon here with a reference to the value of a precious metal, gold.  Declaring His word is worth far more than gold than much pure gold. (Psalm 19:10) Based on God's word over inflated man created paperbacks, etc, there is a precious gold God has created hidden in rocks that is of some value.  Man can't alter it or create it, but rather it's a natural resource made by God's hand therefore the value I increase over time.  With all the anxiety of the financial world currently interesting to see the price of gold skyrocket.  BUT keep in mind again, worth more than that is God's word.  Wow...

I was reminded of the story of Jesus healing the 10 lepers and how only one came back to thank Him.  The power of thankfulness especially in today's ungrateful society shows a humility and how it so deeply speaks a language of love.  One young man, often forgotten and overlooked, with no family that attends church but spending the year faithfully attending Sr.High was in Las Vegas of all places 2 weeks ago reflecting and talking with God, something He had never done before.  Realizing He was embracing a new life He had found with joy wanted to use what money he had to buy me a stain glass cross necklace.  I was blown away as he nervously approached me last Sunday.  So moved in my heart and a tender but so thoughtful gesture.  I realized how much more this young man had inspired me to show more often MY thankfulness to others, even after the fact.  The cross now hangs on my wall in my room as a reminder.

I recently was bothered knowing something I needed had been stolen.  When I approached the one who might have some understanding they dismissed it in unbelief of who I had thought it was.  So I let it go to God asking that one day I might know.  A month later, I found what had been taken by accident in one's bag.  I was upset, angry, wanting to declare to the other.. I told them I knew who it was... but God convicted me to put it back as if I didn't know.  Uggghhh....  the next morning that person would be gone and I wouldn't see it again.  I did have the thought, it was mine and I could just take it rightfully and that would be it without even making a big deal about it... but again I was convicted.  So I literally talked to God about it that morning along with the countless other things we speak about.  I simply asked if there was a way He would have it given to me, but I didn't even believe it was possible.  An hour later, there in front of me stood the person with the item in their hands claiming somehow it had gotten there by mistake.  I was dumbfounded.  Dumbfounded...  ???  I simply was in awe as I waited on God once again He showed me He would take care of it.  Once again my faith increases hourly these days.  But to learn I must listen and obey.  HIS way.. not mine.

We were at the beach last night as a family having a picnic, swimming and playing volleyball.  As we sat there eating in the distance I noticed a man collecting pop cans out of the trash.  As our family was laughing and talking, I interrupted to have Brea go over and offer him some food.  Our kids used to be hesitant but have now seen the power in it and so she jumps up and offers to which he shocklingly but so gratefully takes some.  The other children watch and she sits back down and jumps back into the laughter like it's nothing out of the ordinary.  This blessed me a lot.  I want to train our children that it is normal to keep our eyes open around us and love.  As parents are we teaching our children this?  The first couple times I needed to do it, to break the fear for the kids, even to the point to Roger pulling over the car at an intersection so I could reach to a young woman on a bike with a young boy in tow on a very inclement day.  KNOWING she was forced to use her bike as transformation you should should of seen the look on her face as I embraced her hand with mine sliding some paperback to her.  Proverbs 14:31 Whoever oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.


I have many thoughts and stories I would love to share, but I'll leave you with one simple verse that brings me to my knees yet again when I think of Jesus and how AWESOME He truly is.  He doesn't worry about what anyone thinks, but His Father alone.  John 2:24,25  "Jesus did not NEED man's testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man."  I just love that.  First, why are we more focused about what other's think of us rather than God??  May we concern with what He thinks first and foremost.  And then secondly, He knew what was in a person.  Left to ourselves we are NOTHING.. it is HE in us that creates a beauty and depth a priceless treasure that brings Him glory and shows a world a deep love.  May we continue to strive to please ONE and as He continues to renew us and transform us daily, may we be simply obedient to listen to His Spirit that will cause us to be thankful, loving and no longer afraid to step out of the conformity of the world.

To Him, be ALL glory, honor and praise.  NO ONE.... NO ONE compares with my Father! 

c