Personal Reflection from Wed Night Youth

Wed night youth was powerful! Powerful in that we hosted a place in rest, solitude, reflection, confession and encouragement, prayers, songs, and reading His word with all our leaders and Sr. Highs up in the very top of the sanctuary seated on the floor in a huge circle around the cross with our candles that represented our souls, some brightly burning some dark and cold. It was out of obedience that we ended up there as God was speaking to my heart to discard my own agenda for Wed night and rather do what He was asking me to do. In obedience I have found great fullness in life and this would be no exception. We didn't know all of what to expect but as leaders we prayed and sought the Lord's Spirit to draw those that would come and hence an email call I sent out to those that were serious. Serious about LIFE. Not games and entertainment... man you can go anywhere in our city to get that, but rather the deeper truths of life. The response still dumbfounds me. I am overwhelmed with how many He is indeed working in and through.

There is no denying God's Spirit was felt strongly. From the countless tears, ministry overflow, even emails and the many that wrote their names in my prayer journal that evening are only scratching the surface. One of my leaders went home that night and was stirred to spend more time with God in His word and wrote this in his email, "it was a powerful night, and Carrie you were right the breeze of the Spirit swept through that room last night in the moment. It was Real, and the light of Jesus shone bright. It lifted most of us up, saturating us in LOVE. It lifted me up."

I say this to set the stage to what God continued to do in my own heart. That night I continued to feel and sense God moving in certain individuals that I couldn't get to but openly confessed to Roger. So cool to see these people continue to email or follow up simply listening His voice even days after! I couldn't get to sleep until 2:20am... I was so moved in the Spirit it was as if this burning power was at work in me. I felt as if I could run a marathon. After we cleaned up that evening I could sense God telling me to leave the cross there and that I could get it tomorrow.

I awoke so refreshed in the Spirit despite a few hours of sleep and took my bible, and prayer journal with these names I wanted to bring before the Lord. We talked about them all and reflected on things I could see God doing in them last night. Then I read, Exodus 40:36 in my own personal study. It says, "In all the travels of the Israelites, whenever the cloud lifted from above the tabernacle, the would set out; but if the cloud did not lift, they did not set out until the day it lifted." The cloud represented God and these people realized the absolute dependency on HIS PRESENCE... so much that they would stay as long as HE stayed. I started to ponder this thought with ministry and what happened last night? God literally called me to change it all on Monday, but trusting, relying and depending on His Spirit. Do I ruthlessly pursue His presence above all. Will I wait with our entire troop as their leader to know that the cloud has not lifted? Do I WAIT on the Lord... Do I let Him lead, no strings attached, no agenda of my own.. but rather host a place for His glory and presence to fall?? You see that is where the witness of Almighty God needs no introduction??? His presence is undeniable... supernatural... to a believer or non!

I began to let Him stir my heart even more. And with tears I knew I needed to go back to the cross we sat around last night, and with this book of names and just THANK HIM... so I did just that.

Got in my car and completely focused went to the highest point in our sanctuary where the cross stood resurrected. I was praying no one would come into my path simply in that I didn't want to be distracted or take away from this sense of His presence I could feel burning in me.

As I got to the last fleet of stairs with my prayer journal, (1800 vacant sanctuary seats) I see an empty offering bowl at the bottom of the stairs. The Lord has me pick it up and open my prayer journal to the place with all their names placing it in the bowl. I then carry it up the stairs. I get to the top where He desires me to take my shoes off. It is a delight for me to honor Him in this for I felt as if this was had remained a holy place.

I kneel before the cross, setting down my offering. I look around the space reminded of how full it was with students and thinking of all God was doing here. Then I started to cry. Tears strolled down my cheeks as I began to simply thank Him for His presence. For what He is doing in these young people.

Then he had me look at the names in my book. "Carrie this is your offering to me... this is what I desire. See how each name is handwritten so differently... each is unique. EACH is a SOUL to me... so PRICELESS IN VALUE. " I started to weep more. "Carrie, I love each one of these SO MUCH and now I want you to begin to carry them with this fervency before me. I will cause your heart to love each of them deeply." I began to run my finger over each name. There was a name tag that had fallen off way down on the stairs, He moved my heart to go get it. I looked and she hadn't written her name in my book, but again realizing that God had her... He wanted her. Wow. So I stuck the label in my book."

Then I began to think of the scripture how Paul said to one of his churches, "You are written on my heart" and "that they were His crown to God." His offering?? Wow... How He was teaching me in this moment. Then He had me lie down at the foot of the cross and take the open book of names and lie it across my chest. Again reminded how the Priest would have the names of the tribes of Israel written across His chest close to His heart. Oh I cried more.

I did have the thought... if someone came up and saw me I might freak them out?? Then I dismissed that quickly to realize that "THIS IS MINISTRY" TRUE MINISTRY that God himself was teaching me. As I lied there I talked to Him for another hour and He gave an amazing vision that I will hold on to forever. I shared it with Roger but will refrain at this time of going into it. Afterwards my heart was flooded with a peace despite my eyes swollen and red.

I then took up the cross literally. Carried it down the stairs all the way back to my office and was reminded that I will indeed, all the days of my life, to pick up my cross and follow the ONLY hero in this life... JESUS CHRIST.

"Lord, even in this moment, my prayer is that you will continue to teach me what you desire YOUR Pastor to be. TEACH me O Lord to lead YOUR people YOUR way. Help me to listen and obey, to rest in your presence and move when you move. Forgive me for not treasuring each of these young people's soul as you do. Let my heart continue to burn with a jealous love for these you have given me. That they would begin to taste and see for themselves the richness of your love. Your love is better than life!!" (Psalm 63:3)

Oh my LIfe Giving JESUS... Do you KNOW Him?

I'm preparing to do another funeral this weekend. It's not just officiating a funeral to me but God gives me this love and care, empathy for the family as if it was my loved one I've lost. It's divine and hurts so much and yet I believe it allows me to love and minister in a way that God himself would.

As I sit and listen to the stories I want to discern this wonderful life, coupled with scripture to bring hope. I ponder my own funeral... I ponder how truly I could die right now and be so fulfilled knowing my ultimate dream has come to reality as I enter the presence of Jesus.

I've recently been so stirred that I simply just want to talk about this JESUS... truly... I am in LOVE with Him. I share this with Roger, who knows it... and loves it. He tells me I should look up Anne Graham Lotz. I "You Tube" to stumble on this video of her mother's passing. I break down in utter tears thinking of the way Billy says goodbye to Ruth, will indeed be that of my husband, but how she longs for Jesus and now she with HIm. Oh I break... completely break in sobs that my heart too longs for you Jesus. And yet for now you long for me to share who you are to the world, especially in times of mourning. And even this morning Lord you encourage my heart that doing this funeral, is exactly what you desire. "The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning." Ecc 7:4.

I sat beside this wonderful loving husband the day after his wife passed at our Christmas Eve service simply wanting to be there as best I could. On the other side sat the mother of the 21 year old that died only 10 months ago due to the rip tide in the ocean in Hawaii. Their first Christmas to face without their loved ones. Oh is God ever teaching me empathy. As I sat there and listened to the service I took on what they would hear and simply sat between them and bawled with them as I rested my head on her shoulder.

Oh LORD.... for the rest of my life I want to proclaim you JESUS... boldly and lovingly.... so many need you despite the many heartaches we endure in life. YOU are our only hope. I LOVE YOU..... and I give my life fully to declaring you from the depths of grave sites to the highest mountain.

YOU ALONE ARE THE LOVER OF MY SOUL.... I am yours. Completely and passionately. Use me now I pray.

xo

You tube video of song at Ruth Graham's Funeral

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu2E2FUcIiE&feature=related

Roger as you read this, and watch this KNOW I love you and am so thankful for the love God gives me through you, such a godly man. You are a wonderful blessing. "X"

P.s. If you're not willing to die for Christ that please stop saying you're a Christian. He's more worthy than that.

A Reward Worth Reading

From gas pumps to store entrances, cashiers, banks, airlines, drug stores, etc... they are pushing a certain credit card that will give you "REWARDS/POINTS". It takes a long time just to investigate the different perks, compare, etc. I find it quite complex in who offers the best point/reward system. But the marketing idea is brilliant really and evidently has done well as everyone wants to offer their own card now. It tells me that we all want to have rewards, perks, feel valued like we are investing into something. I'm having this moment as I'm pumping gas looking at the nozzle that has an advertisement to double my points with their card. (lol) Then it dawns on me that God's word is really what we ought to be using the most for in that their is great rewards to be had. (Psalm 19:10,11) It says that God's word is worth more than gold, much pure gold.

I believe this to be so true and those of you that know me know the time I spend immersed in knowing His word. This year we as a church have decided to read through the bible together in a year. Despite reading through it many times I too am doing it again with our family as well. It has proved to be of great conversation and once again the deep levels he is showing me in it has me smitten again to how deep, active and alive the word of God is. It's not too late to join us in this reading. You could spread out the last 12 days of reading or download Genesis on your ipod and you'll be with us in no time. Here is a link posted to our daily readings, and I've also included a link as to why I believe God's word to be so important.

Let's make it a year of investment not just with points that we may never even use, but rather every area of our life funnelled by the transaction of His word to our heart.

DAILY READING LINK : http://www.trinitybaptist.net/#/weekends (just click on blue box in left hand corner)

Teaching on God's Word: http://www.trinitybaptist.net/media.php?pageID=7 (it's under the title "And God Said...")

Come on... nothing to lose... MUCH TO GAIN!!!

With you, wanting HIS REWARDS....

C

Master Reset??

Oh how I want to see the world and people more through the God's eyes than ever before. To exchange my own human sight for His, is to see truth and things that really matter. Therefore the eyes of my heart ought to surpass the eyes of my human flesh. Recently just listening to Him I see Him point out in the distance (about 500m) what looks like one of those silhouette black cut outs of a young man leaning up against a tree with his head bowed down. "You see Carrie" ... I can hear Him speak to my heart... "So many of you do indeed have your heads bowed these days." I inquisitively wonder ... and so I look more intently at this silhouette. As I come closer I realize it is a real young boy early in the morning, waiting for his bus with his head bowed. Then I can sense His sadness. "Yes Carrie, you have bowed so many heads to your idols... to your devices.... you don't have time or even respect for me but your heads remained bowed to ipods, cell phones, blackberries, game boys, etc... the saddest part is you don't even realize how deeply entrenched these new gods have become." Sadness flows to my heart as I can't refute it... but the awareness in this moments causes great remorse to fill my soul on what He allows me to see.... O Lord.... may my head remained bowed but only for my ALMIGHTY God and may nothing take your place for you are a jealous God. Exodus 34:14 Do not worship any other god for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God. John reminds us to "Dear children, keep yourselves from idols." (1 John 5:21) God is jealous for us, because He loves us. Would you want a God that didn't care but just gave us over .... I don't. But my heart's desire is to please Him and not arouse a jealous anger. I think at this point in our society and this time in life, we need to be mindful not to arouse a jealous anger.... you don't mess with God. As for me and my heart I chose His side, His arms and His ways... idol ipod shall be enjoyed, sure, but will not Master me. Only God shall be my Master.

Leaders Living Out LOUD

Once again my heart overflows to our Father this morning of the many incredible young people God is entrusting us with on Wed nights. I truly long to know each one of them.

As I was reflecting on them by name and what I could see in each of them last night, I was thanking God for how HE has brought together our leadership team. I cannot express to you how grateful I am to God for this dynamic group of young adults, so talented and gifted in diverse ways that are truly not only my friends but a family. We meet every Wed before youth at 5pm to pray, really pray. To specifically rely 100% on God. It is Him that does the working through us and we can do nothing on our own. Then we break bread as a team reminding our flesh that we are not only proclaiming His death until He comes, and walking in obedience as He commanded us to do, but that we might walk by the power of His Spirit in all we do for it is He that lives in us. It is this witness of Him through us that the youth will be drawn to. For it is He that is love.

Stephanie, Christian, Mike, Melissa, Jenn, Alysha, Ron, Jody, Ron, Alex, Hannah, Roger and recent additions of Laura and Ashleigh... names of my brothers and sisters to which I have the privilege of building God's kingdom with. I count it a privilege as I mention your name personally and specifically, in frequent exchanges to our Father. I cry out so often to Him for each of you.

I want to thank everyone of you... so much... for refreshing my Spirit each time we serve together. How we roll with whatever God is doing in our midst, we trust each other, we guard each others backs, we help each other, we inspire each other and we remind each other that there is one purpose and one goal in this life... that we would glorify God in everything. We are learning to humble ourselves to each other and what it means to truly love one another with His selfless love. We realize that this is so much more than being a "Youth Leader" but rather a "CALLING" to make disciples. TRUE FOLLOWERS of Christ. That's not a light call. It's not a "Raise your hand if you wanna go to heaven" it's a sold out commitment to not only share our lives with one another but these precious young people. It's a call to week by week do "LIFE" by living as an example to them and opening and sharing ours. It's a high calling; a noble task, Paul reminds us. We all make many mistakes, but grace abounds first to us from God and then is given freely to one another. But we together have made a choice to raise the bar to give God our utmost. Our utmost for HIS HIGHEST. He is worthy... He is so worthy. Our Hero has conquered death and we are running full out, reaching and encouraging our youth to run with us. For you are fulfilling 1 Timothy 4:12 and my heart so rejoices in God for what He is doing through each of you. May we continue to lead in LIFE, SPEECH, LOVE, FAITH and PURITY by the power of His Spirit that no one would look down on us that we are young, but that they would be inspired to know if God can use a crazy bunch like us... wow... He can use anyone. :)

As I thank Him this morning He reveals a song to me that I haven't heard for almost a year and yet the lyrics are the very song of our heart to Him and to others. I've listened to it over and over again... I believe it's OUR song for our youth. Listen to it. Really listen and tell me the Spirit within you doesn't ache with the weight of every word sung??

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jYE42Pb3uI&ob=av2e

Jeremy Camp's - Speaking Louder Than Before

This song reminds me of exactly our hearts and a very specific call to the time we are in. The Spirit arises in me when I hear it that we must continue to take our stand boldly for this next generation... it is in desperation. I think it's part of the enemy's deception and disguise to feel as if it's not urgent. IT IS!!!!!! We need to RISE and REACH to them... raising our voices not giving up or in. I BELIEVE WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THIS LAND... BY SHOWING THEM THE LOVE THAT WE'VE RECEIVED.

Let's run in this, Together for the PRIZE

The "Well Done" that will come from the mouth of our Hero, the one who conquered death,

My heart says to me that to hear Him say those words to me when we meet face to face will far surpass all the riches of this current world. May we stay focused on things that matter for eternity!!

I love you FEARLESS leaders. Really love you.

Humbled,

C

When Father Speaks

For the last 3 weeks since Youth has started up again I must confess I've been so thankful to God for the incredibly large group of young people He is drawing to us. I really love to get to know them. To look beyond what the human eye sees to understand more of their hearts and who they really are. The reality check comes when I see how harassed by the world they are; how much turmoil they come from whether families, friends, pressures..etc. Their lives are becoming isolated and they are moving in it for they know nothing else, and yet their hearts ache for someone to believe in them, someone to genuinely listen, care, protect, connect with them with their minds undivided. They are fed more knowledge, more freedom, more food and caffeine, more entertainment, luxuries and fun than previous generations... yet in the very depths of their hearts they are longing for love and truth more than they even realize. My heart aches as I witness this, yet I shall not bow to such idols or even release them to them, but rather I shall fight to grab hold of them and speak truth in love, believing in them.

I have begun to witness the change in some already and what joy it fills me with to know their steps are now purposeful, bold, strong, courageous on the straight and narrow running hard for the truth they now believe in.

I say all of this as today I read the verse we've heard many times, right after Jesus first is revealed to people at the age of 30 and is baptised, the heavens open and His Father speaks and affirms him. It's so beautiful. "This is MY SON, WHOM I LOVE, with him I am WELL PLEASED" (Matt 3:17)

He's honoring, cherishing and loving His Son, not only to him, but in front of others. Wow. The power and love that was bonded in that very moment. The affirmation that every child longs for from their parents, especially a Father.

For many years of my life I never had this, nor did Brea. But as we walked in obedience with God and relied on him truly as a husband and Father He began to affirm us and declare His love in countless ways. We were both so smitten. And now God has brought us both Roger, in whom is one of the most affirming, loving, encouraging male influences I have known to date. I see how all 3 of our children are going strong in the Lord by this love and encouragement from him and myself.

And now I look at the young people that know not this human or heavenly love and affirmation, and yet Roger and I (and 10 other God fearing young adults) are committed to truly believing in these that He brings us. They are God's ... He is simply asking that we do our best to love them the way He asks us to.

Not an easy task, but a rewarding one as we see these young lives take on a new boldness for the sake of the true love and pleasure that God has for each of them. Boldness in a belief that is worth dying for. The same boldness that affirms Jesus again on the Mount of transfiguration inspiring him of his Father's love despite the death He would soon face.

KNOW HIS love and deep pleasure for you. REALLY KNOW IT. For when you do... your heart begins to ache to be united with Him one day soon. He is my Daddy, in whom I love, with Him I am beyond pleased... let's try "passionately intoxicated with". :)



p.s. For those of you that have been asking for a recent audio of my speaking, here you go:
http://www.trinitybaptist.net/media.php?pageID=7 (You won't be able to tell with the audio only, but the passage I spoke on I recited from memory to hit home the emphasis of the theme "Thy Word have I Hidden in my Heart.")

With love.

My Favorite Jeans for HIS Favorite Genes

I get asked a lot what I think about dating... but I like to go to the deeper motive behind the dating which really lends itself to "Who will I marry?" This obviously seems to be more prominent in the minds of our young women. Yes... that is true. Guys think about it ... but I find in my experience, later on in life. Is this wrong?... no... I believe God's created women to long for that connection even at a young age, hence dolls, barbies, house,etc. Remember Eve's curse was dependency for her husband. And again Paul reminds us women are the glory of men. So rather than dismissing the question... I applaud it. It's a reality. BUT I also want to share and encourage young women and men with the truth. If God is your primary relationship... He will bring into your life, in the exact perfect time, the man/woman He has created just for you. JUST FOR YOU. Imagine that! They exist right now somewhere on this world and God has them on reserve for you. If you continue to walk with God He will walk with you. He will ONLY GIVE YOU the BEST!!!! Do you believe that! I sure did, and NOW I am witness to it. After 8 years of not even dating but trusting if God wanted me married He would bring me the man... and voila... He sure did. Roger is everything I desired and wrote in my journal to God requesting... BUT even more than that He surpasses every desire by so much more!!!! It really leaves me in awe. People would tell me, "You couldn't marry a strong leader like you..it would never work." And yet in my heart I so desired a leader.. that we would lead together as a couple. Plus I wanted to be inspired by his integrity, relationship with God, knowledge of Scripture, and his "lover" mentality to me and to everyone. Plus His good looks to boot... ahhh shucks.... I'm gushing right now.... how I love him. He's so perfect for me, for us. For Brea too! They both have such a special relationship. So why do I say all of this... God knew the timing in which it would be right....trust Him. And quite frankly I wanted a man that reserved himself physically for me. You know I didn't kiss a man, or offer my body in any way... trusting it would be my greatest wedding gift to my future husband. Was it easy???!!!! COME ON.... you gotta be kidding! I really started to wonder if such a guy existed. BUT it wasn't going to let me change my desire before God to honor Him first, with body, soul and spirit.

I watched the Sisterhood of Travelling Pants and I pondered how it's so true everyone has one pair of jeans that are their favorites, that look good just on them. And I realized that it's much like the guy/gal God has for us. They are like your favourite jeans. If you could only chose one pair you'd chose them. Almost as if they were made for your body specifically. No matter what anyone else thinks of them, or how warn or different they may be... they are YOUR favourite jeans. Almost as if they were made to fit just you. So is the guy/girl God has in store for you. They make you look good, fit exactly for your body, you feel good with them, comfortable, proud, excited, sassy, etc...etc...

WAIT... TRUST and WAIT... I don't say this lightly I speak it with everything I know and have including my favorite jeans. HE/SHE is made for you. They exist right now. Why don't you pray that God protects them, inspires them in their relationship with Him and keeps them on His reserve until... the unveiling time shall come to pass.

He won't disappoint. He's GOD. Remember that LOVE thing... yeah... He created it. ;)

Lessons in LOVE

I've been memorizing more scripture lately. I find when in deep meditation and disciplining my mind and heart to commit to KNOWING Almighty God's words, He teaches me a greater lesson as it lingers in my spirit and soul. It causes me to think on it constantly as I say it over and over again.



I'm actually really enjoying it! This recent thought comes from John 17 as I memorize the conversation He had with His Father as He prepared for the deepest moments of agony He would experience here on earth. It's a window into such a precious intimate conversation that I find myself grateful that John recorded it for us.


As I study it more, I am really dumbfounded. Completely left in awe to the point of tears(ask Roger as I share these thoughts even with him in the car, tears stroll down my cheeks), I realize that the Father loves the Son SO MUCH... that He literally gives Him all He has, including all authority.



This is a profound thought! You see Jesus says,
John 10:17"The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again.No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father."John 10:17-19



See, Jesus at any moment had the CHOICE to lay His life down. It was His choice. God gave Him the power. Even when He was before Pilate remember He declared to him, "Matthew 26:53Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?



And YET he didn't use His "Free get out of Jail Pass", He didn't shy away, but stared deep into the eyes of DEATH.



But I think the beautiful part is the other side of this great loving conversation. The scene demontrates not only the Father's love but how the Son LOVED His Father so so so much, and came to do HIS WILL. When we really love someone we want and desire to be faithful to them. To prove our love.


The Father gave everything to His Son. I think of the utter humility Jesus had to have to walk around in some ordinary earthen ware called a human body and be so hated, spit upon, beaten, betrayed, abandoned, belittled as a peasant lowly servant... AND YET HE, AT ANY MOMENT, could've spoken the word and revealed His glory. Yet He humbled himself in honoring His Father, so that the love of His Father could now be given to us freely that we would be able to call Him "OUR" Father.



In John 17 He says to His Dad, "All I have is yours and all you have is mine." Wow... now that is love. In this I wonder if my marriage to Roger shows to others that all I have is his and all he has is mine? That is true love. Selfless. That we would be one. I am praying to this end that the Lord will help me by His Spirit to love Roger with all I am and have that God in us would unify us so closely in a spiritual love that the world would know it is different. And as a result God would be glorified. For this is the way He has intended love. He is the Creator of it. And not only that but He demonstrated it in the love they had for one another.



The other verse that shows me a bit more understanding of the depth to what they had together, was when He says, "Father, glorify me in your PRESENCE with the glory I had with you TOGETHER BEFORE the world began." Now just look at that verse alone. Look at how close they were before the world was even created. Jesus longs for that taste of HOME. The taste of their family that is so different than this world. The taste of glory in HIS presence that cannot be compared with.



As I put myself in His shoes, thinking of myself getting ready for being ripped apart and crucified on a cross, I also would need to be reminded of something I was looking forward to, something that would help me chose to undergo this for something more. God knew that this was the very sacrifice you and I NEEDED in order to be able to have the eternal life, that could only be found in Jesus' blood. This offering wasn't just any lamb though.... this was His ONE and ONLY Son. We can't grasp this... but I must confess as I meditate on their loving conversation... my heart seems to surpass any human logic or reason, and flows with a humble remorse for my selfish life that cost Him, His. So now.. I long to live my life for Him. And you know the part that He's teaching me even in this day, is through Jesus, I can intimately have these conversations to God too!! They're called prayers to some. I call them the overflow of my heart to the one I love, respect, admire and devote my life to.



My God and Father, My Jesus and King,



Through the power of His Spirit now living in me,



We together are one.



Now that is worth dying for,



c

When Jesus Rings the Wedding Bells

Recently Roger and I have had the joy of being at the weddings of two of our young women leaders. Women that I can testify for the past 2 years working alongside of them, have opted for God's best and committed to purity as a desire to give that man that God chooses for them, the greatest gift. It hasn't been easy at times, (nor is it ever) but they truly didn't settle. And now Roger and I have the complete honor of witnessing, in the past 3 weeks, 2 marriages made in heaven, then fulfilled here on earth.

I am blessed to see this new remnant arising before my eyes. These wonderful, godly couples, united forever and fighting with them, to trust God had their man! Amen to that!

I can't help but think how wonderful it will be at the marriage feast God throws! I really long to be in heaven. I think everything here is so temporary based on that which is offered in eternity for those who believe, and have faith now. I believe! Believe to the point of sheer excitement and bliss!! When I get excited I think of being with the KING of KINGS..... He's so much more awesome than our little brains paint Him to be. Think of everything beautiful.. and KNOW HE is that Creator. Think of the power, the might, the wisdom, yet the gracious sincere nature of our loving God. I can't wait to see us all fall on our knees before Him..... not even able to utter anything other than, "Jesus is Lord". Breathless.... ahhh.... the wonder of it all.

I long now to live with that hope, that if my life here on earth is simply a test I want to prove faithful.

My family has been asking me what I want for my birthday..., "Besides heaven and beholding our Lord!!...."

"More of Him" is my prayer... I count all else loss next to KNOWING Him as my Lord. Phil 3:8

Oh I shall enjoy the fellowship now I have with His Holy Spirit, KNOWING that it is simply a deposit of a guarantee that in heaven I will exchange for becoming an heir with my Jesus. wow...
(deep sigh....)

Heavenward, I am on mission. May I not waste a moment here, motivated by being Face to Face with Jesus Christ. How GLORIOUS He will be!!!!!! So handsome, so might, so strong... my hero. Truly.

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who LOVE him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

And you ask me why I can't wait?????? duhhhh?????? BIG :)

I love you Jesus. How I wish everyone knew and understood how wonderful you are. xo

Tax Me Thankful

In my quiet ponderance today, my heart is riveted with what does my thankfulness look like? Does my heart overflow it?
I am convicted as I read Colossians 2:7, "overflow with thankfulness."


"Thankful", not only by words, but by my actions...


For when I step out of our society and still my heart in conversation with God, I feel as if I've stepped out of "a society that is hard wired with 'entitlement' as one of our dominant genes". I am so completely humbled in this conversation and so deeply convicted that I feel the desire to share it openly.


God teaches my heart once again.


"Carrie, TRUE humility before me, overflows with thankfulness from the heart. For with this humility one realizes that really they have nothing before me and therefore the by product is 'thankfulness'."



I am taken back somewhat and yet the question arises, "What do you deserve Carrie?"

"... Oh boy..." (deep sigh).



"Lord I DESERVE death." (I instantly am reminded of "For the wages of sin is death". Romans 6:23)



So if death is all I deserve everything else is an absolute gift. Then I think of how John the Baptist, truly got this. Not only did he live such a humble, but bold life, he didn't let things of this world hold him back but rather professed that "one can receive only what is given him from above." (John 3:27) He got it. He held everything loosely focusing on a kingdom that will last forever and as a result God used Him to build it forcefully. (Matt 11:12)



Oh Lord, what am I holding too tightly? For when I don't hold it tightly, I don't yell like a selfish child, "Mine!" Rather, I become thankful knowing it was a gift first given to me from above.



Are we thankful for our cars, or do we complain that it's old? Are we thankful for the choice of clothing we have, or do we complain that we don't have anything to wear!? Are we thankful that we have employment whether it's a dream job or not, especially in hard economic times? Are we thankful for our free education, or that the sun exists every day faithfully whether we see it behind clouds or not? Are we thankful for the mecca of food stores, and countless selections around us, or are we frustrated that the lettuce look a little wilted or a package damaged? Are we thankful for hands that can type, and a cell phone that rings, a taste bud that savours, a voice that communicates freely, a pillow to lay our head on... are we thankful? If so ... WHO are we thankful to??? Shall we not turn our heads upwards? Shall we not thank Him now.. and readily.. not once a day... but whenever we're thankful!? Do you think God would ever tire of our sincere thankfulness? I know when our children or my husband is genuinely thankful I want to so continue to bless them. Why would it be any different to God? Now I'm reminded to even thank Him for this loving family God has given me.


We live like Kings and Queens in Canada. Really. If we turn our gaze out and up we will begin to quit focusing so selfishly on ourselves and learn to give more freely realizing all we have is "on loan."

I am amazed that even when Jesus broke bread and fed the 5000 people, or when He intimately broke it at the Last Supper it is recorded that He "Gave Thanks" as He did it. Wow...


God in human form, realizing the incomparable worth of the gift God would give us in His death that would ultimately give us Life. It's ours, freely. One day we shall all know the truth to the PRICE tag associated with this gift... then our reaction will be bended knees and open confession of such.


"Today, I chose my Lord, to thank you for everything you've given me, but most blessed is the presence of your Son in my heart. For my soul longeth for that greatest treasure found only in you. When my moral flesh becomes immoral I can just imagine how I will dance, sing, laugh and love as I never have. Help me to express this now. That I would make you smile over and over, knowing no one gets me quite excited as you do!! BIG BIG :)


NO one shall take your glory! This I declare. You are God and God alone. But I know... you said it already! I'm just repeating you!!! ;)



Isaiah 42:8 "I am the Lord; that is my name I will not give my glory to another or praise to idols."

To Him be all glory, honor, praise, power, and especially our thanks, both NOW and forevermore.

A humbled but thankful work in progress,

C

Beautiful Babe

I ran into one of my lovely young ladies in the washroom at church on Sunday. She's been a little quieter than usual the past few weeks and so I felt compelled by the Spirit to write her an email as to how she was really doing. She openly confessed her struggle with the lies of the enemy, common to EVERY young girl, that she needs to look a certain way in order to be "beautiful" according to the world's standards. I'm not even sure if the enemy can stop at Size 0 or if he'd rather move to the minus sizes in due time... ugghhhhhh.... it frustrates and angers me; the poisonous lies he is feeding our young women, especially in this area!

Nonetheless I hold her lovingly in my arms and she seems to melt. So beautiful that she would let her guard down so readily and let me immerse her with an embrace of the Father's love. She is so precious and so beautiful... yet the lies of the enemy rob her of this knowledge. As tears stroll down her face I find my own heart so forlorn to want to instantly remove it for her, but I can't. I can merely encourage her in how to fight, and to stand on the truth. But at this moment the Father was simply telling me to just hold her and love her.

That afternoon just being quiet with the Lord pondering the many great things God is doing in our young people, and also carrying the burden of the ones that are struggling. Presenting these in prayer to the Lord and then as I'm thinking of this precious one, I hear this new song playing in the background. I replay it and listen to the words closely... I fight back the tears as I know it is a song for her from our Father.

So for you my precious one, this is for you. Just close your eyes and listen... and when it finishes I am reminded of a verse He gave me that has so helped me through my struggle of knowing how much He loves me. It's Isaiah 43:4. Look it up, underline it and fight the lie. For to know HIS love for you and the worth of your beautiful spirit ( 1Peter 3;3,4 ) is truly what counts for eternity.

How I long to be so beautiful in my Spirit for my Lord. To me that is beauty.



I love you dear one. This is for you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C2o0jHNRuU And even now I listen to it and now the tears run down my face. For every word captures my prayer. How deep is His love for you.

You are beautiful.
xo

Beyond Binding Books

My husband is great at strategically overseeing things and proactively offering help to potential problems that he may see arising. A recent one he’s noticed is that my bible that is well used dating to my teenage years, is about to lose its spine. He’s been asking me for over 6 months if he could take it in to get it rebound for me as a gift… but I’ve resisted just not wanting to be without it even for a day. I know it sounds ridiculous or perhaps, “the right” thing to say, but truth is I have not been without it for a single day for the past 10 years. It is often just a reach away. Even in my car, planes, hotel rooms, foreign countries, etc..etc. My husband and daughter can testify to this. Nonetheless, just recently I had a dream that pages started to come out of the binding and I awoke saddened but knew it was a warning to get it done.

My husband with a joyful patience, took me to the Book Binder Friday. A pleasant lady inspected my bible and instantly saw the value I had with it even before I asked if she could do same day service? She laughed. My husband even offered to pay more… (what a sweetie he is). Creatively, she worked something out for me.

What I found interesting was I could tell she didn’t value the bible the same, she didn’t understand its “ridiculous” worth? But her comment as we left impacted me profoundly. For though she didn’t know our God as her Lord and Savior, there was no denying that out of all the books she’s rebound, the way people cherished the transition of their bibles to her promised care, left her with a conviction whether she wanted it or not, that, “perhaps there was something of greater worth in those pages?”

I am often left in awe how God simply reaches to so many, even those that are far away from Him in ways that you and I have no idea.

Not just that, but how it would be a fraction of the price to simply go and buy another bible, yet so many would pay triple to simply have it rebound. Is there any other book that demands such time, attention, care, devotion and legacy?

Even this morning as I study His word, Peter captures it so beautifully in saying “God has given us EVERYTHING WE NEED for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him.” (2 Peter 1:3) The best way to have knowledge of God is to study His words, that give account of His life and ways, but also help us to understand the way He speaks and who He is. It’s a magnifying glass into a realm that is divine and beyond understanding. He doesn’t even stop there but says in the next verse, “He has given us his VERY GREAT and PRECIOUS promises, so that through them we may participate in the divine nature and ESCAPE the corruption of the world caused by evil desires.” (2 Peter 1:4)

Behold HIS VERY PROMISES which are not just good but VERY GOOD AND PRECIOUS!!!! Hold Him to His promises.. He loves that!! He is faithful. We just don’t have a clue what half of His promises are!!! For if we did we wouldn’t walk around wallowing that’s for sure.

It’s not His promises alone, but also the escape mechanism He offers so freely to us. I have found this and love it… for when I am deep in scripture even just meditating on a verse and need to go to something else, even just a meeting, everything seems a bit more dim… mundane sometimes. There’s times when I’m listening to scripture in my car and have a deep thought arrive at Walmart and as I turn the car off I don’t even want to go into the store. I feel for a moment I have escaped the busyness and distracted society. Strange.. but true.

I’m starting to understand more and more the power of His words in my life and it does something to me. It intoxicates my soul with a heavenly honey that keeps me wanting more. In one verse there are simply so many layers that there is no other hand written work that can do such marvelous things.

I want to immerse His word into my heart that I would utter worthy things all my life. Things that make people say, “She sounds just like her Dad.’ You got it… my Heavenly Dad.

What a compliment. Oh to be His glory, to represent Him in any way possible. That others may know of His goodness. Yes, even the local bookbinder.

A Motivated Mother

What a privilege it has been for me to bring the gospel to such godly women in Halifax. From age 16 to 70ish... in the beautiful Tim Horton's camp in Tatamagouche, you all remind me so much of the Bereans in Acts 17. How they eagerly receive the message and study the scriptures daily. What you have there is precious. As I stand amidst such a vast array of women from several generations I marvel at the unity you possess. It is God given. Protect it, cherish it.

As God lays on my heart to go deeper with you teaching on Romans 6-8 paralleling Galations 5, I remain refreshed even now of how strong your faith is becoming! How you long for the deeper things of God, the "steak dinner" rather than the baby's milk. (Hebrews 5)

Your humility, your desire for His word, your listening ears and now your persevering obedience will not return void. Already the emails that have transpired as you fight the good fight trusting Him and resisting the enemy, have encouraged my heart!

What fueled me all the more, was one of my dearest brothers in the Spirit, who writes me deep things that God speaks to Him that we would compare the Spirit aligned in us, wrote to me right when I was on the plane leaving Halifax to go to Florida to speak. He spoke of how we need to understand more of Romans 6-8 and how it's a hard teaching but so powerful! How it blessed me to know that was the very passage God had me share with you ladies.

It is moments like these that refresh me from heaven above to know I am in His will. The ONLY place I desire to be.

From there I spoke on a cruise and met many people from across our country that are lights in their cities; beacons of light to offset the secret war of abortion. A desirous group that longs to cleanse the pollution of innocent blood shed on our country's soil. (Number 35:33) I am richly blessed to hear from their very mouths that interestingly enough, this younger generation (high school and younger) are actually choosing life even more so than the university group when it comes to abortion minded ones they come in contact with. I am convinced that there is a remnant in this younger generation that God is reserving for Himself.

Yes they are highly uneducated in God's word (truth) and life through His Spirit, BUT they are indeed hungry to be taught the REAL truth... they do want to know the hard line between good and evil in our watered down society.

It is a ruthless grind, for sure. I look at them and feel as Jesus did, they are so harassed (Matt 9:36) From sexual abuse, lust, $$, technology, access to whatever they desire at their fingertips, distractions, lack of parental presence, an educational system that doesn't want anyone to fail, so floating I guess is accepted??? distraction, no need to save, live beyond your means, etc..etc...etc... Is that harsh? .... immerse yourself in their company for even 2 days and you will understand. It's a fight for them. But I'm not willing to point fingers, I simply want to reach my hands...

I come back to a weekend retreat in Grand Forks where I speak to leaders that are gearing up to do summer ministry and a gang 0f 20 of MY hometown leaders, drive 3 hours to be there too. What a joy they bring me as we spend deep time all weekend in the word and prayer and desiring more of Him. I come back more passionate in the Spirit despite my body being tired.

I desire His Spirit within me to have full reign over my vessel. That my flesh would be a complete slave to the Christ in me. Even as we were in Florida and my husband and I sat under an umbrella on the beach reading scripture together in our quiet time, I see so many consumed of what their bodies look like. And in that moment the Spirit reminds me that something that becomes an idol, a focus of so much time, that we become slaves to, is the very thing that when we die, literally WORMS eat it.... wow... as if that isn't a slap in the face. (John 6:63 The Spirit gives life, the flesh counts for NOTHING.") I remind myself that I shall be focused on things that last for eternity, my Spirit and my faith refined as gold, that my time here on earth by faith shall please my master, my Lord and my God to whom I gladly have become His Prisoner.

I BELONG to Him. There is no greater joy, no greater boast, nothing of greater worth, than to know and confess unashamedly I am my Lord's and He is mine.

I must go now and teach God's word to those that are hungry. This is privilege. This Mother's day I am truly blessed to be feeding my children Chateaubriand, for they have long outgrown the Spiritual milk.

Pressing on, to be a Mother called by my Lord, for more than just children of natural descent, youth for the Kingdom,

Mamma C

Our God BEYOND Wonder

I cannot even begin to contain in one email what I have witnessed of God in my travels from the Eastern Coast of Halifax to meetings with significant faith people in all cities across Canada, to the very edge of Florida and the Islands of Bahamas. I literally have been through all our North American time zones, many climates, marvelled at the tides off the coast off Halifax, the many colors of the ocean water, randomly dispersed islands called of paradise (Bahamas) to the wild and rustic surroundings of Northern Washington with its towering evergreens. Only to return to my now orchard blossoming hometown of Kelowna. I am a smitten, blessed woman to the hand of our marvelous Creator. Yet despite such wondrous natural beauty, the depth of wonder I find most intriguing is the very picture of God that is displayed in the faithful, strong, dynamic men and women of faith I have had the privilege to connect with. A great treasure for me is to sense Christ in people. When I see, sense, hear, even smell the fragrance of Him in fellow believers of all ages, I find it pure joy. It is merely my foretaste of a piece of His glory. I find my spirit soars as I speak and pour out truth to these hearts not only ready and eagerly desiring more, but FULL ON ready to unashamedly display more of His goodness!!!

As an eyewitness to what God is doing in our country I shall proclaim that there is a remnant here that has not bowed the knee to Baal, in which He is claiming for His own. It is a joy and a thrill to know that our God always chooses the under dogs, the few in numbers, the ones that "aren't" to be the ones that "are", the ordinaries to be HIS extra ordinaries. And I believe that despite so many becoming God haters, there is a remnant the fervently calls him their King.

I am smitten all the more, despite being poured out and probably having the least amount of sleep I have ever had in 2 weeks; my heart is full, my spirit alive and I fall in wonder that our God SO loves us. He tells me, "I don't NEED you Carrie, but I DESIRE you." wow.... so true.... humbling yet exhilarating the Creator has a thing for me.... wow...

As I sit on the plane marvelling at how small I am to Him, I can't help but declare some rightful statements for Him, that fuel my FIRE to serve Him with all I am.

Here's a few....

With all our technology can you show me the path of where the wind shall go or show me where the lightning will hit?
Tell me how a cloud can float such weight of heavy water?
How do birds know where to migrate every year or better yet the path to take, even without GPS or mapquest?
Who can tell me all that lies on the deepest ocean floor or how about just walk across it?
Who can find out their number of days here on earth? What if I offered you any amount $ to tell me such?
Who created the lion to retreat before nothing? How does it have such courage?
Tell me how TRUE love is formed between two people for a lifetime?
How does the mind create, maintain and hold "wisdom"?
Can you change the temperature just one degree for me today?
Can the weather channel hold a "number of clouds" count for around the world on a daily basis?
Please change the shape of Orion's belt for just one night, make it whatever design you prefer?
Tell the mother bear not to worry about her cubs. Better yet, ask her to put just one up for adoption.
Show me a horse that is naturally maneless.
Create a circus act with flying eagles that fly according to your command.

All this is captured in my heart as I mediate on Job and Proverbs. This is my God. The one I will forever worship. My God who declares all glory to Himself, and rightfully so. You are my God and I love you.

As the plane descends to land and my ears pop, I want to add one more...

Stop your ears from popping as you descend from the heavens in a plane.... hmmmm...

God I love you. Truly love and shall boast of no other as I do of you. You are truly... my AMEN.